Realisations
by cowbell2011
Summary: My take on what happened after season 9 ended. Harry/Ruth of course, mostly fluff!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok, so Ive been lurking on here for a few weeks now reading everybody else's work. Only a couple of days ago did I finally start reviewing and today the urge took me to try a fic of my own. Now, this is the first time ive EVER written anything like this at all, so be gentle! Its probably awful! I was a bit unsure for rating, so Ive gone for a T, if anyone thinks it should be otherwise please do tell. Enjoy! (Hopefully!)**

What Ruth knew was that she was completely and utterly in love with Sir Harry Pearce. Ever since the day she had stumbled late into THAT meeting and he had made THAT joke, he had haunted her dreams constantly. However, as Ruth could testify, knowing you were in love with Sir Harry Pearce, and telling Sir Harry Pearce you were in love with him were two entirely different things.

She thought back to the day he had proposed to her at Ros' funeral, how she had told him her answer would always have been yes a thousand times over if only he had better timing. Why couldn't she just have drawn a line under the past and said yes? And now, now she would never have to find a way of telling him, because he was going to die. Harry had left the grid moments ago, his words still ringing in her ears.

'Its my turn now.'

Lucas had summoned Harry onto a rooftop with the intention of killing him. Harry, kind sweet Harry who had committed treason to save Ruth's life and she had repaid him by telling him it was unfair of him to love her.

'Stupid woman.' She muttered to herself.

Ruth was becoming restless with a lack of any real updates and no word from Harry. Tariq could tell she was in no position to be of any help but didn't quite know what to say to make things any better. Thankfully, Harry chose that moment to make contact.

'Tariq? It's Harry. Lu...I mean Bateman is dead. Jumped off the roof. I'm coming back to Thames House now. Organise the coroner to take Batemen to the morgue.'

Tariq looked at Ruth and could tell by the look on her face that she had heard every word of the conversation. She could control her emotions no longer and burst into tears.

'Oh Tariq, I thought he was dead. Dead! And I've never even told him I..told him I love him.'

'Ruth listen, Harry's on his way back here, but I can finish up with all this. You go home and have a bath, whatever it is you women do when you're upset.'

Tariq looked mildly uncomfortable at having to have this conversation with such an emotional Ruth, but even though he had only known them for a couple of years even he knew their history and the feelings involved. He decided to remind Ruth of this as she was heading out the pods.

'Oh and Ruth...he knows. Don't worry. He knows you love him.'

Tariq didn't see the small smile on Ruth's face as she made her way out of Thames House and back home.

Much later, after having had a bath and a hot chocolate, Ruth was feeling decidedly better about the situation she now found herself in with Harry. He loved her, that much she was certain. But after turning down his marriage proposal would he still want her? Enough time had passed since her return from Cyprus that Ruth now realised Harry really hadn't had any choice or blame in what happened to George. Her grief over losing George had been matched only by the guilt of having spent nearly 2 years with the man whilst she was madly in love with Harry. Having made peace with herself for her own part in George's demise, she decided she was going to focus on the future instead, and she was no longer going to use it as an excuse to keep Harry at arm's length. All those stolen touches, the glances from his office. She was going to let them lead wherever he wanted them to go. Because really, all along, that's where she wanted them to lead too.

Sipping her glass of wine, for a long time since she could remember, Ruth was excited to go into work the next day, hopeful of what, or who, the day would bring her.

Just as Ruth was heading to bed there was a knock on the door. Her stomach did a little flip at the thought of the only person who would be calling round her house at this time of night. Could he really know that she had spent the better part of all night thinking about him? Then again, she had fled the grid before he had returned. Tariq had probably told him what state she had been in. He was probably here to tell her not to come in the next day.

Realising she still hadn't opened the door. She reined in her thoughts and grabbed the handle. He stood before her in jeans and a navy blue shirt open at the neck. His hair was ruffled. He obviously hadn't done anything with it since the wind had had it's way with him up on that roof. The cut on his forehead had been cleaned up but still stuck out as a clear reminder just how close he had come to losing his life today. All in all, he looked slightly dishevelled, but absolutely gorgeous all at the same time.

Ruth couldn't remember a time where she had wanted him more. All of her emotions came to the surface at once and she couldn't hold them back any longer. Before he could even speak she threw herself at him.

'Oh Harry, I thought I had lost you. You saved me then Lucas called and you had to meet him and I thought you were gone but then you rang and..and..' Suddenly she stopped ranting and slapped him on the chest.

'Don't you EVER do that to me again you hear?'

All of a sudden she started sobbing into his chest. Harry, up until this point had been taking in all this information but decided it was now his turn to do some talking of his own.

'Ruth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I traded Albany for you, but you must know, it was a fake. I could never have sentenced so many people to such a horrible death. I would have found a different way to save you had it been real. You must also know how grateful I am that I came down from that building alive. Because Ruth the truth is, the truth is I...I love you.'

At this, Ruth stopped crying and looked up into Harry's eyes.

'You love me?'

'Yes Ruth. I've been in love with you since 'Bugger the Home Office'. I want to spend all my days and all my nights with you, in my arms, if you'll let me.'

'Oh Harry, I love you too. I've always loved you.'

And with that, they closed the distance between them and their lips met in a gentle and loving kiss. The kiss went on for some time until both pulled away needing oxygen. Harry had his arms around Ruth's waist, which was a good thing considering how shaky her knees were. Would he always have this effect on her, she wondered?

'Harry..would you like to stay for..I mean, I've got enough casserole for two...' Ruth stumbled over her words, not knowing if she was being too presumptuous or not.

'I'd love to stay for dinner Ruth.' Harry replied, all the while staring into Ruths eyes, conveying his love for her with just a look.

Dinner came and went with comfortable silences mixed with smatterings of conversation. They talked about Lucas, how it would affect the team on the grid. They talked about silly little things, things that you would talk about on a date. It took Ruth back to that night all those years ago when they had talked about The Grand Tour.

Currently, Ruth found herself pinned to the kitchen wall. Washing up forgotten, Harry's hands were wandering underneath her top, perilously close to her lace bra. She couldn't help but think this was exactly where she had hoped things would lead when she had made her decision earlier to allow Harry further into her life. She stopped kissing him long enough to tell him to stop. The look of doubt that appeared on his face caused her to quickly reassure him.

'Harry it's OK, I just think we should talk about things first.' She whispered while caressing his cheeks with her hands. 'I've wanted this for so long, I need to know this is what you want too.'

'This is what I want Ruth. You. All of you. I love you.' Harry replied quickly before leaning in to kiss her again.

The last thought Ruth managed to have before his hands resumed their previous journey was that yes, that was enough talking and yes, actions do speak louder than words after all.

**Thats the first chapter done and dusted. Thoughts? Comments? **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I was on a roll and thought I would get the next chapter up before I lost my nerve! My plan for this fic is to rewrite season 10 as if they were together. Although I'll have to wait until the dvd is released so I can rewatch and refresh my mind, so until then I'll fill in with fluffy chapters that would have taken place between season 9 and 10. Please enjoy! Oh and what I forgot to say in the first chapter, I dont own Spooks or any characters, they belong to Kudos (unfortunately!) Oh and Ikea belongs to somebody in Sweden I presume...that will become clear when you read on! Enjoy :) Oh yes and also, thank you for the lovely reviews, they made my day :)**

They had only made it as far as the sofa before stumbling over each other's feet and landing on the cushions in a twisted mass of limbs and partially removed clothing. Ruth was murmuring words of encouragement to Harry and he was not inclined to ignore them. He had gotten as far as unbuttoning her blouse when he felt a heavy weight on his back and immediately he went into spook mode, sliding off Ruth onto the floor, rolling over and crouching with his hands raised before he had even had a chance to look at who had attacked him.

It was only when he noticed Ruth laughing at him that he took stock of the situation and regarded his attacker. Fidget was now curled up on Ruth's legs, purring softly while his owner stroked between his ears.

'Oh Harry, Master Spook, scared by a cat! Wait until Tariq and the others find out about this!'

No sooner than the words were out of her mouth did Ruth realise that no, in fact, Tariq and the others probably wouldn't find out about it because Harry had committed treason. Her Harry would more likely be carted off to prison in the next few weeks rather than be going back to the grid with her. Her sudden realisation must have shown on her face because Harry, jovial mood lost, had moved back onto the sofa beside her and was holding her hands in his own.

'Ruth, I've spoken to Towers. He told me they would be investigating my whole career, not just this...this...' he chose his next words carefully for fear of upsetting her again 'this... Albany _incident. _But believe me when I tell you, I know every skeleton in every closet from Whitehall to the Houses of Parliament. I'll be back with you on the grid in a matter of weeks. That's a promise I intend to keep.'

Ruth seemed to have calmed with his words, and Harry took her hands tightening around his as a sign that she believed things at work would be OK in the long run.

'I just couldn't bear it if you left me Harry, not now we've found each other again.' Ruth sounded so scared and the words had been whispered so quietly Harry had to strain to hear them.

'I'm not going anywhere my love. Not unless you come with me.'

With that said, Harry leaned forward and kissed Ruth again. His kiss contained such love and devotion, she couldn't remember anyone having ever kissed her like that before. Not even George. _Stupid woman! _She thought to herself. _ Here is the man of your dreams. The man you've loved for 7 years, kissing you and you're thinking back to the past again? Snap out of it!_ She took her own advice and immediately purged any thoughts of George, concentrating fully on the way Harry's kisses were making her feel. He was currently tracing her jaw line with his lips, moving agonisingly slowly. She grabbed his head with her hands and kissed him full on the lips once more before pulling away from him.

'Harry, as much as I want this, and as long as I've wanted it for, do you think that maybe tonight you could just...hold me?'

The last two words were spoken with such fear of rejection and ridicule that Harry was taken aback. How could this magnificent woman think he would ever refuse any request of her? His voice cracked and there were tears in his eyes when he finally looked at her and replied.

'Ruth, I love you with every fiber of my being. If you told me to get out and go home because you felt we were moving too fast then that is what I would do. To be able to spend the night in your bed, holding you, well that would be just...perfect.'

As he said the word perfect, he reached his hand up and tangled it in the loose curls around her face, bring his thumb across to stroke her cheek, in order to emphasise just exactly what it was he found perfect. Ruth blushed at his admission and brought her hand up to meet his, intertwining their fingers loosely.

'Well I'm certainly not going to let you leave, not now. Let's go up to bed. After today I'm shattered and all I want to do is curl up in your arms and go to sleep.'

Harry smiled and followed her up the stairs. He slowly stepped over the threshold of her bedroom, letting his eyes roam around, wanting to capture every aspect of the room in case he should never be in there again. He noticed the old wooden desk in the corner, littered with various books in various languages. _So Ruth_ he mused, with a small smile on his face. His eyes then moved to her bed, an ornate wooden frame that matched the desk, with covers and cushions to rival even the best display from Ikea.

It was at that moment that he realised he wouldn't have anything to sleep in. His trip over to Ruth's house had been on somewhat of a whim and he hadn't wanted to pack a bag anyway as that would have seemed incredibly presumptuous.

'Erm Ruth, I don't have anything to well...you know...sleep in. In the interests of taking it slow of course. I wouldn't want to scare you off with my naked old body straight away would I!'

Ruth giggled and disappeared into the en suite bathroom without saying anything. A moment later she reappeared incredibly shy with something hidden behind her back. Harry moved to grab whatever it was but Ruth was too quick and backed away.

'Um listen Harry...I...well I...what I mean to say is...' Ruth stuttered, clearly not comfortable with the direction the conversation was taking.

'Ruth, whatever it is, you can tell me. I won't laugh or shout or tell you off or spank you...unless you ask me to that is!' Harry couldn't resist the last part of his sentence, knowing it would have the desired effect on Ruth.

'HARRY!' Ruth exclaimed, and without thinking drew the offending item from behind her back to hit him with. It landed square on his chest and he reacted quickly and caught it before it fell to the floor.

Harry looked down at what he had caught and a confused expression covered his face.

'Wait. This is...'

'Yes. Yes it is. Aren't you happy you have it back now? I mean, you must have wondered where it went. It's only natural. I mean gosh, one of your t-shirts going missing on the grid after you had to pull an all nighter and sleep there? A puzzle surely. And Harry, you're a spook after all. I can't believe you didn't know that I took it. It was just, I needed something to remind...'

Harry cut Ruth off by kissing her passionately and the t shirt was dropped from his grip as he moved his hands round her waist, pulling her tightly against him.

As he pulled away Ruth had a rather relieved look on her face.

'You're not mad? Harry, I stole an item of your clothing! I just don't know what came over me. It was just there, in your office, and I shoved it in my bag without thinking!'

'Yes well, I think we can call off the hit squad just this once Ruth. The situation has turned out quite well, after all.'

Ruth's embarrassment at having Harry find out her secret seemed to be fading when she realised he wasn't angry at her, more amused. She padded into the bathroom and changed into her own pyjamas while Harry put on the t shirt and got into bed wearing said item along with his boxers. Ruth came out the bathroom a minute later and crawled into bed next to him. He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head as she snuggled up against his solid chest, feeling his warmth radiating onto her. There was nowhere else in the world either of them would rather be right now.

'Goodnight Harry, I love you.'

'Goodnight Ruth, I love you too.'

**Comments? Suggestions? Good/Bad?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I was going to wait a few days before putting this one up. You know, let you all stew for a bit :) but for HR always live on, ask and ye shall receive!**

Ruth awoke early and for a second began to panic when she could feel something heavy pressing down on her chest. Her panic subsided when she opened her eyes and saw that the something heavy was Harry's strong arm curled round her, as if protecting her from the outside world. A smile played across her lips as she remembered the events from the previous night and she turned to look at Harry, who was still sleeping soundly. She traced the lines around his face, marvelling at how peaceful he looked while he was sleeping. Never did she think in her wildest dreams she would ever have the chance to analyse Harry this close and she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity. He began to stir as she was still gazing at him and she drew him from his slumber more quickly by placing a loving kiss on his lips.

'Mmmmm I wish I could wake up like that every day.' He muttered, his voice still gravelly from being asleep all night.

Ruth thought it was absolutely the sexiest thing she had ever heard and attacked his lips with her own again, before rolling Harry onto his back and climbing on top of him. By now, Harry was fully awake and alert to what was occurring in Ruth's bed. He wanted to carry on, but with saint like restraint, he slowly pulled away and rolled out of bed, making his way towards the en suite.

'Sorry Ruth, nature calls.' He called behind him before shutting himself away in the bathroom.

Ruth was disappointed, but then realised it was her after all, who had stopped anything from happening last night. She lounged in bed waiting for Harry to reappear, and when he did he was grinning from ear to ear. Clearly the interior decor of her bathroom had inspired him no end. She wasn't disappointed with what he had come up with.

'Ruth Evershed, will you go on a date with me?'

Her heart fluttered in the only way it can when the love of your life asks you on a date. It took her less than a second to accept and even less time to ask where they were going.

'Ah, now that would be spoiling the surprise. But I think you'll like it!'

With that said, Harry began getting dressed before explaining to Ruth exactly where and when he needed her to be for their date that night.

'Now Ruth, I have a meeting with Towers today, about my inquiry, and he's going to tell me I can't have any contact with you or any other section D personnel. Obviously that's not going to happen, but it does mean I'll have to put that little extra thought into our date. As well as any subsequent meetings. I hope you're agreeable with that?' He sounded unsure, as if Ruth would take back everything she had said last night just because they had to conduct their life in secret for the time being.

'Harry, I love you. Nothing is going to stop me from going on a date with you tonight.'

He smiled at her response before kissing her goodbye and Ruth was suddenly left all alone to contemplate a whole day at work before she could even begin to prepare for her date.

**10 hours later...**

To say that Ruth's day had gone slowly would be an extreme understatement. No terrorists had tried to blow anything up, and her day had been filled with endless forms and questions regarding Lucas and Harry. She had been at the point of explosion when Dimitri had eventually told her to go home and get some rest, which she had dutifully obliged.

Now she was sitting in the middle of her room, with every item of clothing she owned strewn across her floor haphazardly.

'Oh Fidget, I have NOTHING to wear! What is he going to think when I turn up in this!'

As if to punctuate her point, she threw a rather plain looking skirt across the room, it landing somewhere next to the outfit she had worn the day Tom Quinn had shot Harry. _Never wearing THAT outfit again_ she thought sullenly to herself. Finally, she settled on a black dress that showed off just enough skin to keep Harry wondering. She wasn't happy with it but it was the best she could do in such short notice.

Ruth arrived at the destination Harry had given her at precisely the right time. A silver car pulled up just as she came to a stop and the window wound down. Harry's head popped out, surprising her.

'Need a lift Miss?' He grinned

Ruth got into the car and kissed Harry hello. It took a moment before Harry pulled away as they both got a bit carried away in the kiss. Fifteen minutes later they arrived at their destination. Once out of the car, Ruth was none the wiser. She became even more confused when Harry asked her to put on a blindfold.

'Harry...is this the moment when you spank me?' She asked cheekily, remembering his line from the night before.

'Patience Ruth, all will be revealed soon' He answered, while chuckling at her joke.

Ruth heard Harry rustling about in the boot of his car before he began to lead her slowly along, making sure she didn't trip or fall. After a few moments they came to a standstill and again, Ruth could hear Harry rustling around for a few minutes before she felt his presence beside her. Gently he removed the blindfold and let his lips graze her ear as he whispered 'We're here my love.'

Ruth gasped at the sight before her. They were in a clearing in the middle of some trees, fairy lights twinkled as they adorned the branches and in the middle of the clearing lay a blanket. On the blanket was a picnic basket along with a bottle of white burgundy and two glasses.

'Oh Harry, you shouldn't have...' she trailed off, still taking in every last detail of the sight before her.

'Well I couldn't very well book us in at your favourite restaurant, not with my tail I seem to have acquired today. So I did what I thought was the next best thing. Was I wrong?' Doubts started to seep in to Harry's mind as it took Ruth longer and longer to reply. Eventually she realised he had asked her a question and she turned to face him.

'No Harry it's perfect. Utterly perfect. I love you so so much.'

She leaned forward and kissed him to emphasise her point, and they stood that way for a while just learning each other's mouths. Eventually they broke apart and sat down to eat. Harry had packed all manner of foods into the basket and after a while Ruth sat back on the blanket completely satisfied. They sipped wine together for a while longer before Harry noticed Ruth was shivering. He put his jacket around her shoulders before starting to pack away the remaining food and wine.

'No Harry, I don't want to go yet, can we just lay here and look at the stars for a while?'

So that is exactly what they did. Harry put his arm around Ruth and held her close. Together they star gazed for what seemed like hours, until it really was too cold to stay out any longer. They walked back to the car and Harry drove Ruth back to her house. It was when they were stood in front of her front door that Ruth suddenly realised something.

'Oh Harry, you can't stay tonight can you? Your tail...'

'Ruth, I'm afraid until all this mess is over we won't be able to spend any nights together. I must be seen to be coming home every night. But I promise you this, I will spend as much time as is possible with you otherwise. And I will treasure every moment like it's the last.'

Ruth smiled at his admission, despite her disappointment at the realisation they would not be able to share a bed again for some weeks. It was a good job, she realised, that they had decided to take things slow. Although that didn't stop her wanting him any less. She began to kiss him again before deciding that she had better send him on his way otherwise her neighbours would be getting a quite unexpected show.

'Harry, I love you but you must go before I drag you inside, inquiry be damned.'

'I love you too my sweet Ruth. Pleasant dreams. I will see you soon, that's a promise.'

With one last kiss and a look that made her go weak at the knees, Harry turned and left her on her doorstep cursing all and sundry for preventing her from having Sir Harry Pearce in her bed tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I seem to have the opposite of writer's block, I can't seem to stop! And I have the irresistable urge to post on here as soon as I finish a chapter so here you go! Thank you again to threesummerdays and HR always live on for their lovely reviews. If anyone else has any comments or thoughts I would love to hear them!**

They had been meeting in secret for nearly a month now, moments snatched here and there, at each other's houses, in various places around London. Things were going well. Harry had been the perfect gentleman and Ruth just adored how different he was with her compared to the Harry he was on the grid. When they were together it was as if she was the only person in his world and she loved him all the more for making her feel like that. However, today Ruth was feeling another emotion besides love.

Today Ruth was excited. She couldn't remember a time she had ever looked forward to something this much. Her excitement was matched only by her nerves at the situation she found herself in. This weekend, she was going away. Going away with her Harry to, she assumed, some hotel he had booked in a place that was yet to be revealed to her. How he had managed to convince the inquiry board to let him have free rein of his activities for a weekend she would never know. She supposed it had something to do with all those skeletons in closets he had mentioned knowing about.

He had told her he would pick her up at 9am sharp, but it was currently 8.55am and Ruth still hadn't finished packing. She was becoming more and more angry at her suitcase by the second. Why wouldn't it shut? She didn't have that much stuff surely?

'Oh stupid thing!' Ruth cried, as all of a sudden the zip closed and she fell to the floor, unprepared for the sudden movement.

It was at that moment she heard the doorbell ring, and knowing it would be Harry, she picked herself up off the floor and went to answer it.

'Hello my darling Ruth, your carriage awaits.' Harry had a twinkle in his eye as he kissed her and offered up his arm for her to take.

Ruth smiled and gladly let him lead her to the car. Once safely inside, Harry returned to Ruth's hallway and attempted to lift her case.

'Christ Ruth, how long do you think we are going for?'

'Well, I wanted to be ready for any eventuality Harry. I mean, you haven't exactly told me where we are going!'

Harry just smirked and placed the heavy case in the boot of his car before getting into the driver's seat and the couple set off for their first weekend away together.

They had been travelling for 3 hours now, and Ruth was becoming restless. She didn't like long journeys, especially when she didn't even know where it was they were going.

'Harry...'

'No.'

'But you don't even know...'

'I'm not telling you where we are going Ruth.'

Ruth slouched down in her seat like a child that had been denied sweets, a pout on her face to rival any 10 year old. Harry looked over and finally relented a touch.

'Ok, I'll tell you that we will be there in less than an hour. That's all the information you're getting out of me. Christ Ruth, your interrogation skills are second to none.'

Ruth smiled at the fact she could get Harry to divulge information he didn't want to share with just a pout of her lips. He really had it bad for her. But then, she really had it bad for him so she supposed that was a good thing.

Still bored, Ruth decided to play a game.

'Harry, I spy with my little eye...

'Ruth! We're full time spies. Do you really want to play that game now?'

'Oh Harry just go along with it please I'm so bored!'

'Fine fine, you spy with your beautiful little eye...'

Ruth giggled and carried on with the game. Since they were in the countryside and were the only vehicle in the vicinity, Ruth's choices were somewhat limited and it didn't take them long to become tired of the game. Thankfully, Harry announced that they had arrived just as he pulled into the driveway of a little cottage set back from the road.

Ruth's interest was piqued, and she leapt from the car to go and explore, leaving Harry to struggle with their bags. The garden was beautiful, lined with little trees to create the feeling of isolation. There were colourful plants everywhere and a little pond with a wooden table and chairs beside it. The fence was white and lead up to the cottage. Ruth waited at the door for Harry and he fished out the keys before pushing open the door, which Ruth found absolutely adorable with its peeling green paint. As they went inside Harry explained their reason for being here.

'The owner's selling up. Credit crunch and all that. I convinced him to let us stay here for the weekend for a reasonable price since he hadn't had any interest recently. I hope you like it. We can always book into a hotel if not.'

'Oh no Harry it's wonderful, I love it! How did you find this place?'

'Well that's one of the benefits of being a spook Ruth, the ability to search the internet.'

As he was speaking Harry grabbed Ruth from behind and she squealed, not expecting him to be so close to her. They came together in a passionate kiss and Harry gently backed Ruth up until she was pressed against the kitchen counter.

It was as Harry was nibbling on Ruth's earlobe that they both heard her stomach grumbling loudly, and she realised she hadn't had anything to eat yet that day due to being so late packing her stuff into her case. Harry chuckled and took Ruth's hand, leading her back towards the front of the house.

'Come on Miss Evershed, let's go into town and see if we can't find somewhere to get you some food.'

Ruth followed willingly and they strolled slowly into the picturesque village town centre, stopping to look in various shop windows at the local wares on offer. They found a lovely little restaurant that overlooked the beach and they ate in comfortable silence, Harry admiring Ruth's beauty as if it was the first time he had ever laid eyes on her, and Ruth marvelling at how wonderful Harry was for finding this location and bringing her to it.

After finishing their lunch, they made their way back to the house and Ruth settled on the sofa with a book she had brought from home while Harry unpacked their luggage. Ruth realised she hadn't heard Harry make any noise in a while so she got up and moved to the bedroom to investigate. She had to stifle a laugh at the sight that greeted her. Harry had obviously taken a moment to lie down on the bed and had fallen completely asleep, mouth agape and snoring softly. There was a thin line of drool from the corner of his mouth down to his shirt collar and Ruth couldn't help but think it was the most adorable sight she had ever seen. She stood regarding him for a moment longer before moving silently onto the bed to join him. She crawled slowly on top of him and moved so her body covered the length of his. Ever so gently so as not to wake him, she moved her mouth to his right ear and carried out her evil plan.

'HARRY WAKE UP!'

Harry woke immediately with a start, and jumped up ready for action. Unfortunately, in doing this he catapulted Ruth onto the floor and she landed with a bump at the foot of the bed.

'Ouch!'

She lay there for a moment rubbing her sore knee, thinking to herself that as a spook, she really should have seen that coming. Harry was by her side in a moment, guilt covering his features.

'Good lord I'm so sorry Ruth, but why ever would you decide to wake me like that?'

Ruth could tell from the expression on his face that he was amused rather than angry. She was going to formulate a reply but the words caught in her mouth when she realised that one of Harry's hands was rubbing her sore knee and the other was caressing her shoulder. The feeling of his hands on her sent tingles up and down her whole body and she couldn't quite manage to get any sort of response out.

It was in this moment that she realised she wanted Harry badly, and she wanted him now. She leaned forward, pressing her lips to his in a passionate kiss, pushing him backwards so he lay on his back on the floor. She resumed her previous position of being on top of him but this time, instead of shouting in his ear, she drew patterns on it with her tongue.

'I want you Harry, I want you right now.' She whispered before moving her tongue down across his jaw and capturing his lips for another searing kiss.

Harry couldn't put into words what effect this was having on him, but he sat up so Ruth was straddling him. The wooden floor was really no place for a man in his late fifties to be doing this sort of thing.

'Ruth, the bed...' He managed to get out. It was all Ruth needed, and she jumped up, pulling Harry with her before falling back onto the bed with him, her lips never once leaving his.

In a flurry of activity, clothes started to be removed and when Harry began to suck on Ruth's pulse point, she gladly gave in to temptation and lost all coherent thought.

**A/N: I'm almost scared to admit it, but I have written a very M rated companion piece to go with this story that will carry on immediately where this chapter finishes. It won't have any relevance to the story, its just some good old fashioned M rated goodness. I'm really rather anxious to post it, but I'm the kind of person who tries anything once! So if you want to see it, let me know and I'll get it up :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Slightly shorter than the previous chapters but I hope you'll forgive me when I tell you that the next thing I post will be another M rated companion that will follow on from the end of this chapter! Thank you again for all the lovely reviews for this story and for For The First Time, they really do mean alot to me :)**

They had spent all day Saturday in bed, acquainting themselves with each other's bodies. The only time either of them had even left the safety of the bedroom was when Harry went down to the kitchen for food and returned only with whipped cream and strawberries. Needless to say Ruth's hunger was not quite satisfied that day in the way she had imagined it would be.

It was because of this that Ruth awoke on Sunday morning absolutely famished and aching in places she didn't even know you could ache. She slipped out of Harry's embrace and after finding her robe on the floor, she quietly made her way downstairs and started on breakfast.

Flipping on the radio to a quiet setting so as not to wake Harry, she grabbed bacon, eggs and sausage out of the fridge and began to cook.

'I'm just a love machine, feeding my fantasy, give me a kiss or three, and I'm fine. I need a squeeze a...HARRY!'

Ruth had been singing along to the radio and, unknown to her, Harry had since woken and had been watching her from the doorway in the kitchen with a smirk on his face. At the word squeeze, he had reached forward under the bottom of her short robe and squeezer her behind rather unexpectedly.

'Love machine Ruth? Not that I disagree, but a little modesty never did anyone any harm you now.'

Luckily, Ruth hadn't been holding anything at the time, but she physically jumped at his presence and the suddenness of his hands on her skin. Turning round quickly she ignored his comment and playfully slapped his arm.

'I thought you were still in bed. I was going to bring you breakfast.'

'Well that was incredibly kind of you Ruth but don't you think we should actually venture out of the bedroom sometime this weekend? The kitchen table is fine with me.'

Ruth blushed at the thoughts that quickly entered her head of just what activities the kitchen table would be fine for, before shaking the thoughts away when she noticed Harry looking at her with exactly the same look on his face. They wouldn't get anything done today if she gave in to _those_ temptations again.

After eating breakfast, they both got dressed and made their way into the local town again. Ruth had spotted a book shop the previous day that she wanted to explore further and Harry had been happy to go along with her. Truth be known, Harry would have been happy to walk off the edge of the nearest cliff if Ruth told him to.

It was for this reason he currently found himself sat on a rather uncomfortable chair in the corner of an extremely old and dusty book shop whilst Ruth flitted from one shelf to another, seemingly in awe of the collection on offer.

'Oh Harry look at these! I simply don't know how I'm going to choose which ones I buy.'

'Perhaps all of them so we can be on our way?' Harry muttered under his breath, knowing Ruth wouldn't hear him as she currently had her head buried in some early edition translation of a Chinese classic.

Harry thought it was endearing how excited Ruth got over her books, but there was only so much waiting around he could do before the inevitable boredom struck. He thought that this was a good way to interrogate men that section D might need to get information out of. Sit them down in any old book shop and tell them they weren't to leave until Ruth Evershed had chosen her purchase. _Yes, terrorists would never again dream of attacking the UK with the threat of that punishment over their heads,_ Harry thought wryly. He groaned inwardly at the thought that it was certainly possible he would spend his last days in the building in which he currently found himself.

Just as he was beginning to lose all hope, Ruth came stumbling towards the front of the shop with a selection of books piled so high he could barely see her head over the top. He jumped up from his seat, ignoring the stiffness in his knees from being sat for so long, and helped her place the pile onto the till area so the cashier could total them up. Upon losing the books, Harry got a chance to see Ruth's face for the first time since she had been in the shop and he had to stifle his laughter at her appearance. She was covered head to toe in dust. It was all over her clothes, in her hair and smudged over her face. She looked ridiculous and beautiful all at the same time.

The assistant coughed gently to alert Harry and Ruth that he was ready to take payment. They had been gazing into each other's eyes, both with a silly smile on their faces, oblivious to the fact they were supposed to be paying up and leaving. Harry broke the moment and pulled out his wallet.

'Oh Harry no I couldn't possibly let you do that.' Ruth said quickly whilst putting her hands over Harry's stilling his movement of removing his credit card.

'Ruth please, allow me. It would make me happy to know I can do this for you.' He punctuated his point with a brief but loving kiss and Ruth relented, removing her hands from his and allowing him to pay.

'Does your show of manly-ness stretch as far as carrying the books back for me too Harry?' Ruth asked with what she hoped was a look of pure love, stopping short of actually fluttering her eyelashes.

'Only if you admit you just made up the word manly-ness Ruth. A woman of your intelligence too.' Harry replied, chuckling as he began to scoop up the significant pile of books.

Ruth just smiled at him and held the door so he could struggle through without dropping anything. As he passed her, she leaned forward and whispered seductively in his ear,

'Well Harry, I admit to having made up a word, but I have one more favour to ask of you. Will you help me clean off all this dust in the shower when we get back?'

Without waiting for a reply, Ruth walked off back in the direction of their cottage, leaving a spluttering Harry to show just how quickly it was possible to carry a stack of books when something incredibly important was at stake.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok so the good news is that I found a friend who had recorded season 10, so I've been able to make a start on the events of that in this story sooner than I expected. The bad news is that I'm really not crazy about what I've come up with, but I thought I'd post it anyway since you guys' opinions mean more to me than my own self hating paranoia! I don't think it flows properly, but...ho hum. I'd like to know what you think, even if you don't like it. Cause if you all think it's horrible then I'll come up with a different format from the next chapter onwards. That's enough from me now anyway :)**

Ruth sat in her bed, sheets wrapped around her, staring at the man she loved as he struggled to make his red tie look presentable. Seeing that his nervous fingers weren't going to get the job done any time soon, she got up, letting the sheets fall away to reveal her naked body, and moved in front of him to tie his tie for him.

'Now Ruth, are you trying to stop me from leaving by walking around like that?'

'Harry, I'm scared. What if you're wrong? What if you can't fight these people and you get sent into exile? Or even worse, prison?' Ruth's nervous fingers weren't faring much better with Harry's tie as she voiced her worst fears to him.

He leaned forward and kissed her gently to try and reassure her. Truth be told, he was just as scared as she was. Today he would face the inquiry panel for the fourth day running, and today would more than likely be the day he would find out what direction his future would take. He hoped with all his might that his future lay with Ruth, wherever it might take them.

Eventually Ruth finished with his tie, moving her hands up to stroke his cheeks gently.

'You'll be sat just behind me Ruth. I promise you everything will be OK.'

Harry placed one last kiss on Ruth's soft lips before bidding her farewell and leaving her to get dressed. There was something he needed to do before his big moment.

* * *

><p><em>Stupid, stuck up, politicians. <em>Ruth raged inside. _How dare they pick Harry apart like this? They didn't know him. How brave and loyal he was to this country._ She couldn't believe the way Harry was being treated. Giving each person on the inquiry panel a hard gaze, she chanced a glance at Harry, staring at the back of his head, hoping he could sense the love she was sending his way.

'You traded a state secret to a foreign power for the life of an officer with whom you have a personal relationship.'

Ruth became even more angry at that statement. She was beginning to think Harry had been rather optimistic by sounding so sure he would be back on the grid within a matter of weeks. Hearing Harry dismiss their personal relationship as not relevant hurt Ruth, but she knew the denial was necessary if they were to get out of this situation in one piece. She tried to look nonchalant as she felt people around the room looking at her for some kind of reaction. _Well you're not going to get one you bastards._ She couldn't wait until this was over and she could return to the safety of the grid, or even better, the safety of Harry's arms.

Ruth's ears perked up suddenly when she heard Harry mention a report he had put together on her. He hadn't mentioned it to her at all and she was suddenly curious about its contents. As Harry was speaking about her she noticed the phone ringing and within minutes they were leaving the room, Harry to be back on the grid just as he had predicted. Her heart was beating faster as she waited outside the door for him.

'So, can I see that report?' Ruth asked, already knowing the answer but figuring she would give it a go anyway.

Harry made sure nobody was looking before leaning in close to whisper in Ruth's ear, 'Well Ruth, that would require some hard interrogation to get me to give up this information, are you sure you're up for it? I don't break easily.'

Ruth took a moment before replying, Harry's proximity to her affecting her as it always did.

'I'm sure I can think of a way of making you talk Harry.'

They both smiled at each other before exiting the building, Harry opening the car door for Ruth before getting in himself. Neither of them noticed the man across the street watching them.

* * *

><p>Harry's look of horror when he strode into his office and realised what Erin had done to his chair was priceless and Ruth couldn't resist making a joke about having Q branch take a look at it. Harry was sifting through the messages that had been left for him while he had been gone and Ruth couldn't help but just look at him, a small smile appearing on her face at how much she had missed him being around at work. His face appeared serious for a moment as he remembered something he needed to tell her.<p>

'Listen Ruth, Towers told me something earlier, something you need to know. It's about the Russians.'

Just as he finished his sentence he noticed a particular message that caught his eye and telling Ruth about Elena and Sasha fell to the back of his mind as he left his office, needing to know who had processed the message from Witt. Ruth followed, knowing he would get round to telling her eventually if it was that important. _He's never even been to Russia as far as I know, what on earth could it be?_ Ruth was brought from her thoughts by Harry waving the message around the grid asking for whoever had processed it.

* * *

><p>'They're in London Harry.'<p>

Harry's stomach dropped at the news Ruth had just given him. Elena was in London. With Ilya and Sasha. He needed to get Ruth on her own as soon as possible to explain to her what had happened in Berlin. If she were to find out some other way...he couldn't bear losing her so he would just have to tell her the truth himself and hope she wasn't so ashamed of him she left him. He thought she might have an idea already, she had been looking at him so intently during the briefing. Unfortunately he couldn't find a way of speaking with her privately due to the rest of the team milling around, constantly approaching him for approval and advice. Before he knew it, they had discovered the Gavriks meeting with Towers and he was on his way out the grid to confront him, thoughts of Ruth and just how and when he was going to tell her that his past had finally caught up with him.

* * *

><p>Ruth rested her head on Harry's chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. She traced circles on his stomach with her fingers, just enjoying the relaxing moment before saying something she knew Harry wouldn't be happy about.<p>

'Thank you for that report Harry, it was very...complimentary. You don't really rely on me that much though I'm sure.'

Harry looked down at Ruth, unsurprised that she had managed to get her hands on it so quickly.

'I must say Ruth, I'm rather disappointed you didn't try to get the information from me directly, I had anticipated that to be a rather enjoyable experience.'

Ruth smiled at his joke before leaving the bed and wandering into the bathroom.

'We'd better start getting ready, we don't want to be late to the reception if there really is an assassination attempt on Minister Gavrik in place.'

Harry froze. In his haste to get Ruth into bed as soon as they had arrived home, he had completely forgotten he was supposed to be telling her about Elena and Sasha. There was no way he could tell her now, not directly before they were due to leave for the reception. He would have to tell her when they got back. He followed her into the bathroom to begin getting ready, praying to anybody who would listen that she would forgive him when he finally found the courage to tell his Ruth the truth about what kind of man he really was.

* * *

><p>'Because he's my son.'<p>

Ruth's heart broke. She had known, deep down, that he was going to say that, but to hear it coming directly from him was something from her worst nightmare. She tried not to break down in tears and prepared to flee his office, needing to be on her own for the night to think about things.

Harry sensed she was about to leave, and he wasn't going to let her. He knew if he let her go home on her own, she would spend the night over analysing everything and he would lose her.

'Ruth, listen to me. This happened years ago. I'm not that man anymore. I'm not. I don't have any feelings for Elena I promise you. What I feel is guilt. Guilt that I have yet another child whom I've failed miserably. I love you Ruth. I would die before I ever hurt you. You must believe me.'

He had moved from behind his desk and was kneeling before her, holding her hands in his own. Silently he reached up and brushed a stray tear away from her cheek. Taking her silence as a good sign, he leaned up and kissed her gently. She responded after a second, leaning into the kiss and biting his lip gently with her teeth before pulling away and resting her forehead against his.

'I'm being silly Harry I know it. There's no reason for me to be jealous. I suppose I'm just scared that one day you might betray me like that. '

'Never Ruth. Never.' Harry forcefully replied, before standing up and pulling her into a tight embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews so far, they keep me going! There wasn't much interaction between Harry and Ruth in 10.2 so this is a bit shorter than usual. I'll try and update again tomorrow though to make up for it!**

Ruth placed her hand on Harry's arm to prevent him from walking away from her.

'Did Elena contact you?' She couldn't stop the jealousy from showing in her voice. Ever since Harry had told her about Elena and Sasha she had been going over it constantly in her head. Harry's reassurances had calmed her somewhat, but it was still difficult not to be jealous when your lover's glamorous ex and their son were in town.

Harry gave her a sympathetic look, knowing what she was thinking. He wasn't looking forward to meeting Elena any more than Ruth was, but he needed to get to the bottom of the situation quickly in case it was something that could harm the Anglo-Russian partnership.

'Yes. The meet's on for today. I don't want you at my house until all this is over. If Sasha should come back with his gun while you're there...'

'No Harry, you're not shutting me out over this. I know we aren't very emotionally forthright but we need to talk about this and I'm not letting it come between us.' Ruth lowered her voice as Erin walked past, giving them a funny look.

'We'll talk about this later.' She said firmly, giving Harry no room for argument. He nodded and walked off, leaving Ruth standing there feeling very infuriated with the man she loved.

* * *

><p>'Did you see her? What happened?' The sentence sounded like an accusation and Ruth almost cringed. She didn't want Harry to think she didn't trust him, but she just couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy she had over Elena.<p>

Harry graciously ignored the tone of Ruth's question, not wanting to get into an argument he knew he would lose anyway. There was nothing for Ruth to be jealous of, of course, he loved her with all his heart and Elena was a part of his past he would rather forget. He began to tell her about Jim Coaver and his suspicions, and he could almost hear the wheels turning in her head as she processed all this information.

'Ruth, you're the only one I can trust with this. The only one I would want to trust with this. I know it's hard for you, dealing with Elena and Sasha but please, please help me with this. I need to know what's going on.' Harry stepped closer to Ruth and raised his hand to her face, stroking her cheek gently with the back of his fingers.

He was aware that the blinds in his office were open and people could see in, but at that moment he didn't care, he was sure most people knew of their relationship anyway. Ruth leaned her head in closer to his hand, relishing his touch and suddenly wishing they were in a more private setting.

'I can do this for you Harry. It will just take a while for me to analyse it all and deal with it. Promise me you're not keeping any secrets from me. That I really am in your confidence? I can deal with the others seeing me as dependable Ruth, but I need to know I'm more than that to you.'

Ruth hadn't intended for this conversation to take the turn it had, but she knew her and Harry couldn't keep things bottled up like they had always used to, it would get them nowhere. Harry stepped even closer to Ruth so that their chests were almost touching.

'Ruth, there are things about me I haven't told you. Things from my past that one day, when the moment's right, I'll tell you all about so that there really are no more secrets between us. But right now, when it comes to Elena and Sasha, I am telling you everything. You're the only person I can trust.'

Harry was whispering now, not trusting his voice at a normal level whilst he was so emotional. His love for Ruth scared him sometimes. He really didn't know how he had functioned whilst she had been in Cyprus. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment longer before Ruth nodded and, taking a huge risk, she quickly leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Harry's lips. She smirked at the look of surprise on his face before turning and leaving the office.

* * *

><p>Ruth had just opened the bottle of red wine when she got the call. The phone slipped from her fingers and smashed on the floor but she didn't notice. Her hands started shaking and she collapsed against the cold, hard tiles of her kitchen floor, sobbing uncontrollably. This was how Harry found her when he let himself into her house 10 minutes later. He rushed to her side, getting onto the floor with her. His arms wrapped around her shaking body, pulling her as close to him as humanly possible. They sat like that for over an hour. No words were said. No words were needed. They had lost another of their own. And it hurt just as much as it had every other time.<p>

* * *

><p>The next morning Ruth awoke in her own bed with Harry beside her. Her joy at waking up beside him yet again was short lived when she remembered why he was there in the first place. Tariq. Tariq was gone and it was her fault. She told him to go home. The tears came again and, not wanting to wake Harry, she quietly slipped out of bed and went downstairs into the garden. She sat alone, in the cold morning fog for nearly half an hour before Harry appeared.<p>

'Ruth, you must be freezing, come inside.'

She didn't answer him, no energy left in her after having finally stopped crying. He moved towards her and put his arms around her, gently lifting her up and moving her inside into the living room. He sat down beside her, not knowing what to say for fear of upsetting her again. They stayed like that for a while until Ruth finally spoke.

'We should get ready for work, don't want to be late.'

Her voice was devoid of any emotion and it broke Harry's heart to see her like this. He knew she had been this upset every other time they had lost a member of their team. Danny. Fiona. Adam. Ros. All the others. But this was the first time he was in a position to offer her real comfort and he was at a loss.

'Ruth, you don't have to come in today. Take the day off. I'll stay here with you too.'

'No Harry. Thank you but I...I need to work. I want to find who did this to Tariq.'

Harry smiled at her and took her into his arms, holding her tightly. He kissed the top of her head and moved to go into the kitchen, intending to make breakfast for them both while Ruth got dressed. They ate in silence and left for the grid together. As they walked to the car, Ruth leaned up and kissed Harry lightly, squeezing his hands with hers, letting him know she appreciated him being there and that even though he hadn't said much, his very presence had gotten her through the night.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This takes place over episode 10.3. There will be an M rated companion for this chapter up in the next couple of days also!**

'Move in with me Ruth.'

To say Ruth was surprised would be an understatement. They had been watching the evening news, her laid down on the sofa with her head in his lap, in a comfortable silence. Although they spent most nights together, this was something they had yet to talk about.

'Harry, I really don't know what to say.' Ruth's mind was in overdrive. Did she want to live with Harry. _Of course you do you old fool. Say yes! _She was brought out of her thoughts by Harry moving her head so he could stand up. He sensed he had pushed her too far and wanted to put some distance between them.

'Harry wait. I'd love to. Move in with you I mean. Yes. Yes, I will.'

The size of Ruth's smile matched Harry's and she leaned forwards, capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

* * *

><p>'Harry, I'm going home. Is there anything...'<p>

Ruth let the sentence trail off as she was reminded just what the word home really meant to them both after this morning's conversation. She grinned at Harry before moving further into his office and closing the door.

Harry's excitement at her agreeing to move in with him had been curtailed somewhat by what he was about to ask of her, but he knew there was nobody else he could turn to. Deciding to just bite the bullet and hope she understood, he explained to her what he needed her to do.

'Don't. I'll do it.' Ruth's curt response hurt him and he stood from his chair, moving quickly to the door to stop her from leaving.

'Ruth, I'm sorry, really. There's nobody else I can ask.'

'Harry, it's OK, I just didn't expect to have to come face to face with her by myself. It's fine.'

Ruth reached up to stroke Harry's cheek, leaning forward as she did so to let him know it was OK to kiss her. He dutifully obliged, letting his lips linger for longer than was acceptable in their work environment.

'I'll see you at home yes? Our home.' Harry couldn't get enough of saying that. He could scarcely believe this beautiful woman had agreed to live with him. Ruth nodded and smiled at him before leaving his office.

* * *

><p>Ruth waited outside the museum for nearly 15 minutes before finally going in. She wanted to get this over and done with as quickly as possible before returning to the grid. She found Elena sitting before the painting and moved to sit beside her. They made small talk for a few minutes, before exchanging what it was they were there for. Ruth knew she should have gotten up and left there and then, but something made her stay. She don't know why she said it, but she told Elena her name. Part of her hoped Elena might be jealous, and part of her wanted Elena to know Harry had somebody else. She supposed she was marking her territory.<p>

'Harry loves you doesn't he?' The question caught Ruth off guard, though she supposed she should have seen it coming. It was obvious to anybody who cared to look that hers and Harry's relationship extended beyond friendship and work colleagues. She wasn't going to give Elena the satisfaction of talking with her about Harry, and she refused to rise to the bait Elena was offering when she began to talk of Harry's inability to trust anybody. Sasha approached then, a blessing in disguise for Ruth before she said something she regretted, and less than 5 minutes later she was walking quickly away from the building.

* * *

><p>Ruth didn't know why she had agreed to meet with the Home Secretary. There was no way she would ever leave the grid. Leave Harry. Yet here she was having dinner with Towers. She had lied to Harry and told him she was meeting an old friend from university. She knew he could tell she was lying by the look of hurt that flashed across his features before he had kissed her goodbye. Ruth decided that as soon as she got home, she would tell Harry everything. She was brought back to the present by Towers' next comment.<p>

'Am I unable to free you from Harry's tentacles?'

The comment in itself was innocent enough. Everybody knew of Sir Harry Pearce. He was a living legend. Anybody would kill to work for him. But Ruth knew there was more to Towers' comment from the twinkle in his eye as he said it. Everybody knew about hers and Harry's relationship it seemed.

Ruth made some garbled excuse about being sick of secrets, before asking for the bill, wanting to be out of there as quickly as possible. She didn't want Harry to be too drunk by the time she got home. She knew he would have reached for the whiskey the moment she had left the house due to her lie.

* * *

><p>Ruth entered the house quietly, so as not to disturb Harry should he be asleep. As it was, she needn't have worried. He was sat on the sofa, bottle of whiskey in hand, having dispensed with the need for a glass altogether. <em>This was bad<em> she thought before sitting down beside him, a small blush colouring her cheeks at what had occurred on this very sofa just a few days earlier, on much more happier terms.

'I met with the Home Secretary. He offered me a job. Security Adviser. I'm not going to take it. I could never leave you Harry. I'm...I'm sorry for lying. I don't know what came over me really. Please forgive me.'

Harry knew in his current state he was too drunk to argue with her so just nodded mutely, accepting her explanation and apology before setting the bottle of whiskey on the table beside him. He supposed he deserved it really. He had so many secrets he had kept from her, it was only natural after everything that had happened over the last couple of weeks that she would feel the need to hide something from him. He followed her upstairs and they began to prepare for bed. Harry was having trouble undoing his tie due to the amount of whiskey he had consumed, so Ruth moved in front of him and began to untie it herself. Once she had removed the offending item, she ran her hands over his shoulders and around his neck, relishing the feel of the crisp white shirt and his soft skin underneath. Leaning forward, she kissed him hungrily, her lips not leaving his as she guided him backwards toward the bed. He obliged, too drunk to stop this happening before they had fully resolved their disagreement. It was fast and rushed, not like their usual lovemaking, but it was exactly what they both needed in that moment.

Afterwards, Ruth traced circles on Harry's chest with her finger, soothing him into sleep. Just as he was drifting off, he heard her whisper her love for him and he succumbed to slumber, knowing as long as she carried on loving him, there was nothing he couldn't forgive her for.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This takes place over 10.4. I'm not too crazy about this one if I'm honest. Maybe it's because I'm getting closer and closer towards 10.6, and so far I've not a clue which direction I'm going to take it! But, I hope you like this anyway. Thank you again for all the reviews, and I suppose it can't hurt to mention again that Spooks and all of the characters belong to Kudos (gahhhhhhhh Kudos, gahhhhhhhhh!)**

'I think I've figured out a way to get the proof against Jim Coaver.'

Up until that point, their conversation had been strained. Harry still tensed up and became short with Ruth whenever she mentioned the Home Secretary, ever since she had had dinner with him and lied to Harry about it. He had forgiven her the moment she apologised but it didn't stop him worrying that eventually her head would be turned by the attractive promotion on offer.

Harry's heart sank when Ruth told him they would need to involve Elena and Sasha in their plan. He had been hoping to have as little contact as possible with them whilst they were in England. Since their arrival, his relationship with Ruth had become tense and it was as if they were both treading on eggshells. Overtly, they acted the same around each other, as if nothing was wrong. But deep down he knew she was in turmoil over the situation, her judgement clouded by jealousy over Elena. Before, they had been open with each other, loving and caring, sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings. Now, it was like they had gone back to how they were before they had confessed their love the day Lucas had killed himself. _Yes, _Harry thought, _the sooner the Gavriks are back in Russia and Jim Coaver's safely in a prison cell in America the better. _

* * *

><p>Ruth was dreading what she was about to do, but she knew she had to. The life of a little girl was at stake. Ever since the awful dinner with Towers she had been avoiding him like the plague. He had been constantly trying to contact her at the grid, offering her higher wages, better privileges, larger offices, anything he could think of to tempt her to Whitehall. She hadn't the heart to tell him there was nothing he could offer her that would make her change her mind so she had opted for the avoidance tactic instead. Taking a deep breath, she entered his office and sat down. No sooner had her behind touched the fabric of the chair was he mentioning his job offer again.<p>

'All the preparations for your transfer are set this end.'

Ruth smiled, knowing she still had to make nice with him if he was to do the favour she was about to ask. A little white lie would do no harm.

'Actually, this isn't about your offer. I'm...I'm still thinking about it Home Secretary.'

'Yes, well, in your own time.' Ruth could tell by the look on Towers' face that he didn't expect an acceptance anytime soon, and she knew it would only be a matter of time before he withdrew his offer. _And not a moment too soon_, she thought, as the conversation moved onto Ashur Mohali's daughter. As it turned out, Ruth didn't quite have Towers wrapped as far around her little finger as Erin had thought, and her request was turned down. Frustrated, Ruth left Towers' office with him to attend the meeting with Ilya Gavrik.

* * *

><p>Ruth was nervous. Her previous forays into the field had not exactly been a shining example of how an MI5 officer should conduct their operations. Hopefully this one would go a little better. She knew with Harry there she would at least be safe.<p>

'Negative I.D. He's leaving.'

Just as the car pulled away she heard the gunshot. Not knowing who had fired, or if anyone had been hit, she began running to the meeting place where she knew Harry was with Elena and Sasha. Her hands were shaking, not from the exertion of running, but from the idea that it could be Harry that had been shot. If anything happened to him, she didn't know what she would do.

She arrived just in time to see that Harry was indeed safe. But her heart broke at what she saw next. Elena was in his arms, theirs faces just millimetres apart. They were going to kiss, she was sure of it. She was about to flee, not wanting to see the love of her life betray her when he had promised her so vociferously only a matter of days ago that he was a changed man, when she saw them hug instead of kiss and she decided to stay and see how the situation panned out.

Harry didn't know what to do. He couldn't very well push Elena away from him when she was so clearly distressed but he didn't want her so close to him either. He especially didn't want Ruth to see the two of them in this somewhat compromising position. He noticed Ruth just on the edge of the park and upon seeing the expression on her face as she looked toward the ground, he knew he would have a lot of explaining to do that night.

* * *

><p>'So what is it with you guys and this hanging out by the river?'<p>

Ruth turned to face Coaver, struggling to hide the loathing she felt for this man from her face. Meeting him had been her idea after all, the perfect way to find out if it had indeed been his car present earlier at the attempt on Elena's life. She tried to keep conversation at a minimum, hardly believing her ability to lie so easily, especially about Harry. It hurt her to say those things about him, to make out she was betraying him but she knew it was necessary to keep Coaver onside for now.

She waited until he had left the bridge before following him. It only took a second for her to reach the pavement, arriving just as Coaver got into the very same car that she had been watching earlier on that day. Ringing Harry to confirm with him, she kept the conversation short, still extremely upset with him about this morning's events.

'I have the proof you need. It's him.'

'Good. Ruth listen, I...' Harry didn't manage to finish his sentence before Ruth hung up on him. _It's probably a good job really_ he thought. Even he knew, with his limited experience of women, that it was better to have that kind of conversation in person rather than over the phone. He just hated her being mad at him and wanted to make it up to her as soon as possible.

* * *

><p>Harry walked up to the bench, marvelling at how every time he saw Ruth, she seemed even more beautiful to him than the last time. Sitting beside her, he listened quietly as she began to speak about Elena and Sasha. Her next statement cut right through his heart like a knife.<p>

'Do you know what it's like, to feel something for someone, and then one day realise you don't even know them?'

'You do know me. You know all the important things. Ruth, I promised you one day when the time was right I would tell you all my secrets. I meant that.'

'Harry...you still love her don't you?' The question had been playing on Ruth's mind ever since she had seen the pair of them embrace in the park that morning. She hadn't intended to ask it, knowing deep down it wasn't true, but yet again she let jealousy get the better of her.

'Ruth, I love _you. _And only you. I swear to you with all my heart.'

As if to punctuate his point, Harry took Ruth's face in his hands and placed the most tender of kisses on her lips. He let his lips linger for a moment, having not been sure if she would push him away to start with. When she didn't, he brushed his tongue lightly against hers before pulling back.

'The Home Secretary asked me again today to join his staff as Security Advisor. I'm running out of reasons to say no.' Ruth's tone had lightened somewhat with her comment, and Harry despised himself for what he was about to say. He really did think it might push her away from him, but he knew it was for her own good.

'I think you should go.'

The look of horror on Ruth's face killed Harry. He hated that he had hurt her like that, but he couldn't see he had any other choice.

Ruth was completely in shock. She didn't know what to say. It seemed lately with Harry that they would take one step forward then two steps back. Just as she had let him reassure her that he felt nothing for Elena, he was now pushing her out of her job? _Does he want me out the way so he can carry on with Elena without me there to see? Does he want to end it but just doesn't have the courage? _ All these thoughts and more were running through Ruth's head at a million miles an hour, and she just sat mutely and listened as Harry explained himself.

'Go as soon as you can. I don't want you involved in what's coming. This thing with Coaver...it could ruin me. I don't want it to affect you. Towers is right about one thing, I should have let you move on years ago. You're made for so much more. At least this way I can be sure you're protected from my actions.'

Ruth knew Harry was waiting for her to say something but all she could do was nod. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Harry becoming increasingly uncomfortable at Ruth's lack of speech. He thought he may just have pushed her too far, that his request would mean the end of their relationship. He put his head in his hands and sighed.

Ruth noticed this and turned to look at him. When he didn't respond to his name she moved off the bench and knelt before him. Gently removing his hands from his face she was astonished to see a solitary tear making its way over his cheek.

'Harry, please, talk to me. What's wrong?'

'Everything Ruth. I feel like I'm going to lose you over this fiasco. I feel like I can't do my job anymore. The situation with Erin and Rosie today, giving that order before I knew she was safe, how could I have lived with myself if Erin had lost her daughter? I'm not sure I'm cut out for decisions like that. And sending you away to work for Towers. Believe me Ruth, it's the last thing I want to do, but you have your whole career ahead of you. I don't want you to ruin that over me. It's going to get dirty. And you're not going to be proud of me, but once again I must do what must be _done.'_

Harry said the last word through gritted teeth, hating how this job made him sometimes. It was times like this he almost wished he had opted for a normal life. Occasionally he even wondered what his life would be like if he had gotten on that boat with Ruth 5 years ago and made a new life for himself with her in Cyprus.

He felt another tear making its way down his cheek and looked up when he felt Ruth wipe it away softly with her finger.

'Harry, you've given everything to the service. I'm not going to let you give up me too. I'll go and work for Towers. But I'm still going to help you if you need me. My loyalty, and my love, will always be with you. I love you Harry Pearce.'

Harry smiled at Ruth, scarcely believing he was so lucky as to have this wonderful woman love him so unconditionally.

'I love you too, but I really don't deserve you Ruth.'

She returned the smile and shook her head in disagreement, and they kissed briefly. Ruth rose from her kneeling position on the ground, offering her hand to Harry.

'Now, stop being such a cry baby and take me home.'


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This chapter takes place over episode 10.5. I decided to leave the Harry/Elena scene in the house and the Harry/Ruth scene in the car well alone for this chapter, as I thought they both really proved that Harry and Ruth were in a relationship, and the dialogue in both scenes fitted perfectly with the direction I've taken this anyway. Apologies if you were hoping to see my take on them but I don't think I could have improved them at all (not that I improve any scenes with what I write, quite the opposite in fact in all probability, but well, you know what I mean. Hopefully!) Just on a related note, upon re-watching this episode for the purposes of this chapter I realised it contains one of my absolute favourite ever Harry quotes. 'Mr Pearce, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me.'...'And with regret, I'm going to have to decline.'...heeeheeeeeee oh how I love him!...*ahem* moment over, on with the chapter!**

Ruth stood before the mirror, fiddling nervously with her necklace. Harry came up behind her, reaching over her shoulders and playing with the small pendant. He leaned forward and kissed her neck softly.

'You'll do fine Ruth. You were made for this job. No need to be nervous.'

'I know that Harry, it's just that...well...no, you'll think I'm stupid.' Ruth tried to move away from Harry but he held her in place, fixing her with a loving gaze through the mirror, coaxing her into telling him what was bothering her.

'I don't want to go to work...if it's not with you Harry, that's all.'

Harry smiled and turned Ruth round to face him, kissing her firmly before replying.

'But you get to come home to me every night, isn't that so much better?'

Ruth's reply stuck in her throat as Harry began to kiss her neck. She knew she wouldn't make it to work at all if she let him carry on like that so she wriggled out of his grasp, playfully swatting his arm, before grabbing her keys and moving towards the door.

'I'll let you finish what you've started later on tonight...if you're good.' With a wink Ruth was out the door and gone, leaving a very frustrated Harry on his own to contemplate his first day on the grid in nearly three years without Ruth there to guide him.

* * *

><p>Ruth sat at her desk, thoughts of Harry going through her mind. Her first morning as Security Advisor had been fairly mundane, filled mostly with paperwork. She had been trying to put off searching the Home Office database to see what they had on Harry, but she could no longer resist the temptation and waited as the computer brought up the files.<p>

The first thing she noticed was how ruggedly handsome he looked in his picture. Her stomach did a little flip the way it always did when she thought about him before she began to read on. Her smile faltered when she saw the file read he had two children. _We both know that's not true_ she thought bitterly, her mind wandering towards Sasha briefly. She moved onto the Berlin file, hoping to find any new information that could possibly help Harry in his fight against Coaver. It was the sight of Jim Coaver's picture that reminded her of Harry's intentions and she decided she need to get to the grid as soon as possible to stop him doing anything incredibly stupid.

* * *

><p>Ruth entered the grid, pleased to be back in familiar territory so soon. She spied Callum and made her way over to him, hoping to glean information out of him without him realising. It was a good job her phone rang, as she wasn't really getting anywhere with him. <em>Better suited to a desk job I suppose<em> she thought to herself wryly before answering her phone.

Ruth's stomach dropped as soon as Towers told her that Coaver had gone missing. She just knew Harry had something to do with it, and she finished up her conversation with Towers as quickly as possible so she could ring Harry.

Ruth was incredibly angry with Harry. She couldn't believe he would be so stupid as to kidnap Coaver, despite his seeming guilt over the whole Gavrik affair. This was too far, and she intended to stop it. _Kidnapping Coaver was obviously what he meant when he said he wouldn't want me associated with his actions. He's doing this to protect Elena. _Her jealousy surfaced yet again, she just couldn't help it.

'This is about Elena Gavrik and you know it. You're still in love with her and its clouding your judgement.'

Ruth couldn't believe it when Harry didn't even deny it. She threatened him with telling Towers what she knew and even that didn't sway him. Hanging up the phone, she immediately redialled Towers, determined to stop Harry ruining his life, even if he didn't love her anymore.

Harry hadn't even heard Coaver's comment as he had hung up the phone. He was too busy thinking about how upset Ruth was going to be. He had told her his next move was to be a dangerous one, but he had purposely not told her exactly what it was as he had known she would try to stop him. And now, she was back to thinking he was still in love with Elena as well. That hurt more than her disapproval of his operation. He thought he had done enough to convince her otherwise and he hadn't been in a position to get into a debate about it with the others present whilst he was on the phone. He wanted to get Coaver's interview over and done with as soon as possible so he could meet up with Ruth and smooth things over.

* * *

><p>'Ruth you're reading too much into this. I'm not exactly known for my tact. This is a man who proposed to you at a funeral, remember?'<p>

Harry's comment calmed Ruth's nerves. She knew she was being irrational again, it was just the nerves at having very recently stolen a laptop from the American Embassy. She made fun of his timing before asking where he wanted her to bring the laptop.

'Bring it home with you Ruth, the less people that know about this the better. I'm sure you can read whatever there is to be read on the files. I'll see you there. And remember, I love you Ruth.'

'I love you too Harry.'

* * *

><p>Harry let the answering machine take the call and wished more than anything in the world that Ruth was with him right now. He had known it might come to this, and he had wanted to spend his last few hours of freedom with her. The car bomb had put paid to that. She was with Towers right now and there was no way he could have gotten her to come home without letting on what was about to happen. <em>Maybe it's better this way<em> he thought. If she knew what was about to happen she would no doubt do something incredibly brave yet silly to try and stop it, just like she had done all those years ago when she had taken on Oliver Mace. And look where that had left her. No, he would see her by the river and they would say their goodbyes there, no matter how much it was going to destroy him inside. Unbeknownst to him, she was at that very moment staring at Harry's extradition order, thinking up a way to get him out of it whilst fighting back the tears.

After destroying the folders in his garden that could incriminate him any further, Harry moved to pick up his gloves in the hallway before remembering one last thing he needed to do. Plodding back into the kitchen, he removed the carton of milk from his fridge and filled a dish with it. He knew Ruth would be a mess once he was gone and he didn't want Fidget to go thirsty. Putting a plate of food out ready for Scarlett too, he moved back into the hallway. Retrieving his gloves and keys, he took one last look at Ruth's coat hanging up on the peg next to the door, before leaving his house, their house, for what he assumed would be the very last time.

* * *

><p>When he saw her standing next to Towers, he knew he wouldn't be able to get through this without one or both of them crying. He hurried along the conversation with Towers about the Russian partnership, shaking his hand and wanting to get Ruth on her own to say his goodbye.<p>

Before he could say a word, she started talking about ways she could help him.

'No.' He cut her off. 'Don't you dare put yourself at risk for me.'

Ruth chose not to reply to that and instead voiced a random thought that popped into her head which she had been meaning to tell Harry since yesterday.

'I've put an offer on a house. It was going to be a surprise...for you. It's the place you took me for our first weekend away together. By the coast. In Suffolk. I can't...I can't imagine living there on my own though.'

The tears were starting to form in her eyes and Harry couldn't bear it any longer.

'Well keep trying. Ruth, if you manage to have a semblance of a normal life after...everything, it'll be your crowning achievement.'

Ruth's tears were flowing freely now and Harry leaned forward to kiss her. He had only intended for it to be a brief kiss. He knew if he didn't stop kissing her now he never would, but Ruth had other ideas. She grasped his face in her hands and wouldn't let go. They stayed like that for a minute, until Harry pulled back and wiped away some of Ruth's tears, but they were immediately replaced by more.

'Wait Harry, no, this can't be the end.'

Harry could barely tell what Ruth had said she was crying so much. He turned back to her and kissed her with as much passion as he could muster. It was a kiss that said 'don't forget me' and 'I love you' and 'you're the love of my life' all in one go and Ruth never wanted it to end. Their tongues collided and Ruth put her hands on Harry's back, pulling him closer, savouring every moment of the kiss because it was their last. Eventually they had to come up for air, but they stayed close, their lips still only millimetres apart.

'Then let's pretend it isn't' Harry whispered, his breath tickling Ruth's face.

He walked away before she could say anything else, his own tears falling freely over his face. He daren't look back because he knew if he did, he would run back to Ruth and never leave her. Ruth collapsed to the ground, unable to stop more tears falling. She couldn't believe she would never see Harry again. She had wasted so much time pushing him away because she was too scared to love him, then finally when they both had the courage to admit their feelings, less than 6 months later he was being taken away from her. She stayed like that for a while, by the river crying, until finally she pulled herself together and found her fighting spirit. _He's right you old fool. _She resolutely told herself. _This isn't the end. I won't let it be. _Ruth hauled herself up from the ground and purposefully strode away from the river, determined she would not lose the man she loved for a second time.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So here it is...events from 10.6 *sniff* I've watched this episode about 5 times now and I still cant get through it without blarting my eyes out and feeling incredibly robbed at the end of it, so apologies if it's awful or theres mistakes.**

Ruth was watching the signing of the partnership from just outside the room, feeling numb inside. She missed Harry terribly and had yet to come up with an idea that could help him. About to turn away and leave, she paused when she noticed Elena catch her eye.

'Ruth, I have to see Harry.'

Ruth tensed up, but didn't allow the familiar feeling of jealousy to return like it had been doing so often these last couple of weeks. It would do her no good and wouldn't bring Harry back either if she was fretting over something that happened thirty years ago. She focussed on what Elena was saying, sensing it was an opportunity she could use to free Harry from American custody.

Intrigued, she let Elena explain herself, having difficulty hiding the surprise from her face when the method of Tariq's murder was revealed to her. She knew this could only mean one thing, they had to get Harry free and in a room with Elena.

Talking over the phone with Callum, Erin and Dimitri, they came up with a plan that would hopefully work. A direct extraction. It was risky, but once he was on that flight there would be no possible way of getting him back.

* * *

><p>Ruth was overcome with emotion as she saw Harry walking towards her. Had it not been for Erin and Dimitri, she would have run to him and leapt into his arms. As it was, she settled for the widest smile she could possibly imagine and a look that told him all he needed to know. The rest would come later.<p>

They made their way inside, Ruth explaining the situation to Harry as they walked. She brushed her fingers over Harry's hand as they entered the bunker, simply unable to go any longer without having some kind of contact. Erin and Dimitri either didn't notice, or politely pretended not to.

* * *

><p>Harry approached Sasha, knowing he had seen the contents of Jim Coaver's laptop and would know the truth about him by now. He was cautious; he knew this would either go very well or very badly. Sasha seemed nervous too, and neither man knew what to say to start with. Stilted conversation followed for a few minutes, before the ringing of Sasha's phone broke the awkward silence.<p>

'It's my fa...it is Ilya Gavrik.'

Sasha sounded so torn and unsure and Harry felt sorry for him. The boy had asked for none of this and his whole life was being turned upside down. Harry spoke to Ilya over the phone, inviting him to join them at the bunker before hanging up and going in search of Ruth.

* * *

><p>Ruth listened as Harry spoke on the phone to Towers. When he hung up, she moved to him immediately and embraced him now that they finally had a moment to themselves.<p>

'Harry, I know it's hardly the time or the place,' upon hearing the words leave her mouth, Ruth was struck into silence for a second as she remembered another day 2 years ago when she had said those exact words to Harry. She could tell by the look on his face that he remembered also.

'...it's...it's neither the time nor the place, but I want you to know, I love you.'

They kissed for a short while, Harry pulling back as time was short. He rested his forehead against hers before speaking quietly.

'I want you in here with me.'

* * *

><p>They entered the room and Harry began questioning Elena straight away. Towers had convened COBRA and he didn't have long to provide the answers they would expect. When Elena admitted to being behind the attacks and her knowledge of Harry's deception when he recruited her, he was astonished. All along he had been played by this woman. She had used their past, their shared history against him.<p>

Ruth had almost seen it coming. She had been suspicious of Elena for some time, ever since Jim Coaver's death. He had been the only possible person besides the Gavriks who had known enough information to impersonate Harry, and if someone wanted him dead, that only left two possibilities. Either it was Ilya behind the attacks, or Elena. She had spent some time with Ilya during the talks for the partnership and although he was a murderer in his past life, she thought she was a good enough judge of character to know he was a changed man.

That meant Elena was behind it all. The impersonation of Harry. The supposed attacks on her own life. Tariq's death. She became angry at this thought. Here was, in all probability, one of the people responsible for Tariq's death sitting before her and they would have to bend to her every request in order to stop whatever attack it was she had planned. Ruth tried to control her anger as she listened to Elena's story unfold, a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

'Do you see him differently now?'

Ruth took a moment before replying, seeing that Harry was terrified at what her response would be. How could she ever stop loving this man? This wonderful man before her. He had a past that he was not proud of, but his actions since becoming head of section D more than atoned for that. He had saved thousands of lives. He had saved her own life on numerous occasions, and she was madly and completely in love with him. _No, _she thought, _I could never see him differently._

Defiantly, she raised her chin and responded to Elena. 'Yes. I see he's given more than I thought possible.'

Ruth could almost hear Harry's sigh of relief that she was still steadfastly supporting him through more of his shameful secrets. Harry's relief was short-lived when a thought occurred to him. He daren't even ask, but knew he had to. He was about to speak when they were interrupted by Callum.

* * *

><p>'You were not recruiting me. I was recruiting you.'<p>

To say Ruth was shocked was an understatement. She had been suspicious of Elena but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think she was this involved in what was happening. She listened quietly as the story unfolded; wishing she could take Harry in her arms and comfort him when he was so clearly distressed.

Harry was angry. He was angrier at himself than at Elena. How could he have let himself fall for this? As Ruth continued questioning Elena, revealing Ilya's innocence in the process, it was all he could do to stand there and listen.

'Ask me Harry. Be brave.' Elena's question reminded him of the exact same thing he had been thinking just before Callum had interrupted them. He almost didn't want to know the answer, but she was clearly willing to give it so he spoke slowly, almost sure he knew what response he was going to get.

'Is Sasha my son?'

Harry didn't know what to feel at her answer. Thirty years he had felt guilt. Guilt at not being there for Sasha. At leaving him in Russia when he could have done so much more to be a part of his life. And now to find out this young boy was no relation to him at all, but merely another pawn that had been used to try and turn him? He was devastated.

He chanced a glance at Ruth and could see the emotion in her face too. Overcome, he rested his head against the cool steel bars and could speak no longer.

* * *

><p>Harry was so glad he had asked Ruth to come in with him for Elena's questioning. He had no doubt he wouldn't have been able to continue without her presence next to him. He listened as she carried on talking with Elena, seemingly not fazed at all by her revelation about Sasha. He knew inside she was just as surprised and devastated for him as he was, and he marvelled at her ability to carry on regardless in order to get the information they needed out of Elena. When all this was over, he was going to marry this woman, and he was going to spend the rest of his life showing her exactly what she meant to him. His thoughts were brought back to the present and he continued his questioning of Elena, not believing for a second that she was telling them everything.<p>

* * *

><p>Now that the full extent of Elena's deception was in the open, the only option left for them was to trust Ilya and get him to help them. His request for the key to the room which contained his wife so that he could make the call within seemed like a small gesture, but as Ruth looked into his eyes she knew what giving him the key would really mean. She explained Ilya's request to Harry, and without words she could tell he also knew what that would mean. Knowing it was their only option he handed over the key anyway. Weighing the lives of over 300 innocent civilians against one Russian spy was no contest, the civilians had to come first.<p>

They watched as Ilya made the call to Towers, relieved that the danger was now over. Harry suddenly had a great need for fresh air and made his way outside. Ruth made to follow him, but not before warning Dimitri of Ilya's intentions. Unfortunately Dimitri wasn't quick enough and he, Erin and Sasha watched on in horror as Ilya murdered his wife, revenge for her lifetime of deception. Nobody noticed as Sasha, in his traumatised state, picked up a shard of glass from the floor and made his way towards the door.

* * *

><p>'So leave the service, with me, while we still know who we are.'<p>

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. When Ruth had begun to talk of secrets, he had feared she was here to break off their brief relationship, the events of the last few weeks too much for her to take. So when she asked him to leave the service with her to start a new life, he was lost for words. In the last few hours he had experienced every emotion possible. Now the danger was over, and this incredible woman, this beautiful woman, still wanted to be with him. All he could manage was to smile at her, not trusting his voice whilst on the verge of tears.

His joy was short lived when he noticed Sasha approaching them quickly. He ordered Ruth back to the bunker but she ignored his pleas. Sasha was ranting at them about his mother's death, and Harry tried to cover for Ruth's part in Elena's demise, intent on keeping Sasha's attention on him. He had noticed the glint from the shard of glass in his hand, and his stomach was in knots. _Please no, not now. Not when we were so close to being happy again._ The next few seconds seemed to move in slow motion for Harry. He was vaguely aware of himself calling out Ruth's name, and he looked at her as she finally noticed the glass in Sasha's hand when he moved towards them. Before Harry could do anything to stop her, Ruth stepped in front of him and he watched in horror as the piece of glass disappeared from view and entered Ruth's stomach.

**A/N: Sooooo sorry for leaving it there! But a little suspense is good for the heart right? I'm aiming to update tomorrow or the day after. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So here's the next instalment. I'm no doctor so sorry for any medical mistakes. Enjoy :)**

Instinctively, Harry lurched forward and caught Ruth in his arms. Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard a gunshot, and the grunt and thud from behind him told him that somebody, presumably either Dimitri Erin or Callum had shot Sasha. He didn't even bother to see if it had been a fatal shot, he didn't care. Right now all he cared about was the woman in his arms, her blood currently spilling out all over his hands. He gently laid her down on the floor, caressing her hair.

'Funny. Can't breathe.' Ruth gasped. It was all she could manage with all the pain she was in.

Harry could hear Dimitri's footsteps getting quieter as he ran back to the car to get a medikit, and Callum could be heard ordering an air ambulance.

'5 minutes for air medivac.' Callum said, his voice wavering as he realised that might be too long.

Ruth gazed into Harry's eyes as she listened to Erin try to reassure her by talking about her injury. A stab wound. A punctured lung. But she would be fine, it wasn't going to kill her. She tried to focus on those facts as she looked into Harry's eyes, but already the pain was so intense she could hardly speak, and she could feel her extremities going cold.

'Keep her talking Harry.' Erin whispered quietly. She gave Harry a knowing glance, trying to convey to him just how serious the situation was. He was in shock, barely moving and not able to speak. He couldn't believe what was happening before him. _She's got to be ok; she's just got to be_ he thought to himself, before springing into action.

'We're going to buy that house Ruth, do you hear me? We're going to have a home, and a life.'

Ruth was in so much pain she could hardly bear it anymore. Harry's voice was fading into the background and it was all she could do to keep her eyes open. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, but the words wouldn't seem to come out. Her whole body felt cold and numb and just before she succumbed to the darkness she used all her remaining strength to utter one last sentence.

'Harry, we were never meant to have those things.'

Harry watched as Ruth's eyes closed. She was cold to his touch and he was terrified he was about to lose her. Somewhere in the back of his mind he noted the sound of a helicopter coming closer and closer, and as he turned to see what was taking Dimitri so long he could see the black speck on the horizon getting bigger.

Dimitri slid to a stop next to Ruth and pulled the adrenalin from the small pack he was carrying.

'No defib.' He quickly explained at Harry's incredulous look, before plunging it into Ruth's chest.

Harry, in such a traumatised state, made a mental note to have defibs installed in all MI5 vehicles before refocusing his attention on Ruth. He watched as Dimitri threw the needle to one side, but there was no change in Ruth's condition. He had lost her. _Ruth. My Ruth. I waited so long for you and now it's too late. My fault. All my fault. _Harry's thoughts faded into nothing as he began to weep. He wanted to caress Ruth's face but his hands were covered in her blood. Slowly he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Ruth's cold lips, his tears dripping over her face. He rested his cheek against hers, wanting to prolong the contact with her before the paramedics, who had by now arrived and were running towards them, took her away. Suddenly, he felt a whisper of a breeze on his right cheek. Not wanting to believe it had come from Ruth, he blamed it on the wind to start with. But when it happened again he pulled back slightly and moved his ear over Ruth's mouth.

'She's breathing. Erin, she's breathing. Get those medics over here now!'

Erin signalled the paramedics over immediately and they began to work on Ruth, one of them stopping the flow of blood from her stomach while the other one performed CPR.

'Don't let her die. Please don't let her die.' Harry was still weeping and his words were barely legible through his tears.

He followed the medics to the helicopter and got in beside Ruth, taking her hand in his. It was still cold, but he rested his fingers on her wrist, assuring himself that he was still with her by the faint pulse he could feel beneath her skin. Taking one last look at Erin, Dimitri and Callum, he nodded at them briefly, noting their distraught faces, before the helicopter door was slammed shut and the pilot lifted off towards the nearest hospital.

* * *

><p>Three hours he had been waiting. Three hours stuck on the same hard plastic hospital chair and still there had been no news. He was clinging to the mantra 'no news was good news' to get him through the evening, knowing if she hadn't made it, they would surely have come to inform him by now. He had almost broken down in tears when they had arrived at the hospital and he had been instructed to check her in at reception. Upon giving them Ruth's details, it had been noted to him that he was listed as Ruth's next of kin. He had not expected that, and he had slumped down onto the chair in shock afterwards, barely registering his thanks to the nurse before making his way to the waiting room.<p>

Erin arrived whilst he was waiting. She told him that Sasha had sustained a gunshot wound to the leg and would survive, but had been whisked away by the FSB along with Elena's body and Ilya Gavrik before section D could do anything about it. Harry sat listlessly, barely listening as she talked. Somewhere in his mind he imagined getting revenge on Sasha, but then he realised, as long as Ruth lived, he really couldn't care if he never saw a member of the Gavrik family for the rest of his life.

'...and then I got up onto the table and shot the Home Secretary for ever suggesting such a thing.' Erin finished, knowing Harry wasn't listening to a word she was saying. His questioning look up at her told her everything she needed to know.

'Harry, you're no use to Ruth like this, go and get some food and a cup of coffee. I'll stay here and wait for any news.'

Harry nodded mutely, feeling his muscles complain from being sat on the uncomfortable chair for so long as he stood up. He stared at the vending machine for a long while, not moving or putting any money in. To a passerby it would have seemed that he was unsure how it worked, but to Erin it looked like a man who was scared to his wit's end that he was about to lose the woman he loved. She felt for him, and was scared herself. It was impossible not to like Ruth, and she hoped she would pull through.

Harry sat back down beside Erin, and she refused to leave until he had drank his coffee and eaten his chocolate bar. She left to return to the grid, promising to call regularly for any updates. It was another half an hour before anybody approached Harry. He stood up immediately as he noticed the doctor, and was buoyed by the fact the doctor had a small smile on his face. _Tell me she's ok, please._

'Sir Harry Pearce? I'm Doctor Anderson. I'm pleased to tell you Miss Evershed is going to make it. It was touch and go for a while but eventually we managed to stop the bleeding. Now, she'll be weak for a few months while she recovers from the punctured lung, but there'll be no lasting damage since you got her here so quickly. The extent of her injury meant that...'

Harry stopped listening to the doctor as soon as she knew Ruth was going to be alright. He tuned out the medical babble and collapsed into the chair, his head in his hands. Various thoughts were running through his head, so fact he could hardly concentrate on them. Him asking Ruth out for dinner. Ruth refusing a second date. Ruth leaving for Cyprus. The corridor at Havensworth. All these memories and more were flooding his mind. Missed opportunities mixed in with more recent memories of them together. Their weekend away at the cottage. Her moving in with him. Their first time. It was too much for him to take and he began to cry again.

'Mr Pearce? Mr Pearce, when you're ready I can take you to see Miss Evershed. I'll...I'll be waiting over there.'

Dr. Anderson at least had the good grace to look a little embarrassed at having interrupted this obviously powerful man at such a vulnerable time. He lingered by the nurse's station until Harry collected himself and with a nod of his head, he led Harry down the corridor until they came to a stop outside a room with Ruth's name on it.

'Now I must warn you Sir, Miss Evershed is still sleeping, and we had to put a tube in to help her breath. This will be taken out in a few days when she stabilises but for now, you can talk to her and there's every chance she will be able to talk you. There's a bed set up in the room for you should you wish to stay the night. I'll leave you to it.'

'Thank you Doctor.' Harry nodded once more at Dr. Anderson before he gently opened the door and went inside.

**A/N: Well I hope you've enjoyed this story so far. I can either leave it there as the end, or carry it on with some lovely fluffy chapters. What do you think? Let me know if you want more and I'll duly oblige!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews, they really do make my day and I wouldn't keep going without them. As you all seemed so keen, I'll take this story to the very end for you. This chapter turned out a bit more angsty than I had hoped, but I promise there'll be fluff galore on the horizon!**

The last three days had been the worst moments of Harry's entire life. He had spent every waking hour at Ruth's side, holding her hand and talking to her about his daily routine, anything to try to get her to wake up as soon as possible. The only time he had left had been to visit the Home Secretary to hand in his resignation. Towers had not been pleased, but looking into Harry's eyes he had seen weariness and a lack of passion for the job, and he knew he could not stop him from changing his mind. He sent Harry from his office, wishing him and Ruth the best for their new lives together. Harry hadn't presumed to hand in Ruth's resignation for her, but it was obvious to Towers that if Harry wasn't coming back, then neither would she.

Dimitri had brought Harry a bag full of his clothes and essentials on the second day of waiting. Harry hadn't asked him to and for a minute he wondered how Dimitri had gained access to his home, before realising he was a spy after all. Harry was touched by the gesture, glad that his former colleagues were still thinking of him now that he was no longer their boss. On asking, Dimitri had had no hesitation whatsoever in going back and picking up some of Ruth's belongings too. _That man really does deserve a pay rise_, Harry thought to himself.

He was just going over in his mind for the hundredth time what he would say to Ruth when she woke up, when he felt the slightest of twitches against his fingers. It was so small he might have missed it had he not been sat gazing silently at her beautiful face. Sitting up straight, he leaned his head closer to Ruth's to whisper in her ear.

'Ruth, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand.'

He waited patiently in silence but Ruth's fingers didn't move again. Harry suddenly had an idea and, standing up, he carefully leaned over Ruth and placed the gentlest of kisses on her cheek. He hadn't even got as far as sitting down when he felt the twitch against his fingers again, stronger this time.

'Ruth...Ruth...can you hear me sweetheart? You're in the hospital but you're going to be ok. Squeeze my hand if you understand me.'

Harry's eyes flicked nervously between Ruth's hand, held tightly in his own, and her face, desperately looking for any sign of life. His heart nearly stopped when Ruth's fingers curled tighter round his own and squeezed. He squeezed back and looked at her face, expecting to see once again her pale complexion and closed eyes. Except this time when he looked up, he was looking into beautiful blue eyes, and he could do nothing to prevent the sobs that began to take over his body.

...

Harry had waited impatiently outside Ruth's room while the doctors removed her breathing tube and checked her over. He was anxious to get back inside and talk to Ruth, to see how she was and what she remembered. _To see if she still loves you, you mean, you old man._ Harry couldn't fool his own thoughts, he was dreading that he would go in there and Ruth wouldn't want to see him and send him away, angry that he had yet again put her life at risk. Before he could continue with the self loathing thoughts, Dr. Anderson exited Ruth's room and made his way towards Harry.

'Mr. Pearce, Miss Evershed is awake and responsive. As I said before, she is still weak due to the collapsed lung, but there should be no lasting damage. She'll need to take it easy for a couple of months but she should be fine after that. The wound on her stomach will be painful for a few weeks but will be fine as long as she engages in no strenuous activity and the scar will fade over time. She's one lucky lady Mr Pearce, I hope you realise that.'

Harry nodded along to everything Dr. Anderson said, thanking him for his help before moving towards the door of Ruth's room. He hesitated outside for a moment, scared he would not be welcome, before deciding he just had to see her either way, and he pushed the door open and entered the room.

...

She was sitting up now, most of the machines around her gone except for the drip that was still attached to her hand. He thought she still looked pale, and there were dark circles around her eyes but that was to be expected after what she had gone through. Harry approached the bed carefully and Ruth opened her eyes as she heard him approach.

'Ruth I...'

Harry didn't know what to say. He was terrified that Ruth was going to hate him so he left the sentence unsaid and just stared at her from the end of the bed. It was only when the tears began to trickle down her cheeks that he moved towards her and gently took her into his arms, careful to avoid her left side where the stab wound was.

'Ssshhh it's OK Ruth, you're OK.'

He gently rocked her, running his hand gently over her hair to comfort her. Placing a kiss on top of her head, he perched himself on the edge of her bed and held her while she cried. They stayed like that for a while until finally Ruth's sobs subsided and she spoke, having seen the insecurity in Harry's eyes before she had broken down.

'Harry...you saved my life. Again. I can never thank you enough. I am so glad that I'm still here. With you. I love you.'

Harry breathed an internal sigh of relief at Ruth's statement. _She still loves me. And she's alive. Thank the lord._ He lifted her chin with his hand, so he could look into her eyes, and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

'I love you too Ruth. I was so scared. I...I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't made it. The doctor says you have to take it easy for a few months. I've...retired now, so I'll be here for you should you need me to...no. Should you want me to look after you.'

Ruth was taken aback. Although she remembered their conversation just before she had been stabbed, she hadn't expected Harry to act so soon. She realised she was actually quite pleased at this news. She was going to get her happy ever after at last.

'Harry, I was wrong wasn't I? We are going to have a life, and a home.'

She reached up to caress Harry's cheek, pulling him in for another kiss.

'Yes Ruth, we were meant to have those things. And we will.'

...

The next day, Dr. Anderson released Ruth on the promise that she stayed confined to her bed for at least a week with no more movement than was necessary. Harry, beside himself with excitement, had promised to ensure this happened. It was due to this promise that they currently found themselves on their front doorstep, Harry fumbling with his keys as he tried to find the right one to let them in.

Ruth was leaning heavily on him, the exertion of simply walking from the car to the porch too much for her, but she had steadfastly refused to let Harry carry her. She was no bloody invalid she had said, she could manage 10 yards. As it turned out, she couldn't, and as soon as Harry had the front door open, he caught her to stop her falling and carried her up to their bedroom. He let her sleep for a few hours, knowing she needed the rest, whilst he flitted around the house, making sure everything was in order.

His heart stopped when he heard a crash from the bedroom, and he raced upstairs to find his bedside lamp smashed on the floor.

'Ruth? What happened?'

Ruth was sat up in the bed and breathless. Clearly she had overdone it and had a tiny accident.

'Sorry Harry. I tried to stand up to go to the toilet but I lost my balance and I tried to steady myself...and that...that...THING!'

Harry smiled at Ruth, delighted that her personality was shining through even though she was still so weak. He helped her to the toilet before carrying her back to bed. After tidying up the mess that used to be his lamp, he got into bed and lay stiffly next to her. Scared that he would inflict more pain than she was already in, he stayed as far over to his side as he could, mumbling a forced goodnight before rolling over. Immediately he felt her fingers on his bare back, stroking random shapes as she spoke.

'Harry...I'm not going to break. Please. I need you to hold me tonight. I was so scared. I thought I was going to die. Please, hold me.'

He could hear her begin to cry and he knew in that moment he could never refuse her anything for the rest of his life. Eight years they had wasted getting to this point and then in a second he had almost lost her. Harry turned quickly and wrapped his arms around her gently, soothing her by kissing every part of her face he could find.

You're OK Ruth. You're OK. You're OK.'

Harry repeated it like a mantra until she stopped crying. She looked up at him and kissed him forcefully. He had missed her kisses, and he gladly opened his mouth to her tongue when she pressed it against his lips. Reluctantly, Harry pulled back, knowing Ruth was in no state to do what he knew would happen if they carried on.

'All in good time Ruth. All in good time. You rest now. You're home.'

They fell asleep in each other's arms, and for the first time in as long as he could remember, Harry felt at peace.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: This is pure fluff! Hope you like. :)**

The last two weeks had flown by for Harry and Ruth. Ruth had confirmed her resignation with the Home Secretary and Harry and been back and forth from the grid, completing his handover with Erin. She had been promoted into his old position with Dimitri in turn moving into hers. Erin would never find out, but it had been at Harry's insistence that she be offered the position, and he still carried enough weight with the DG and Towers to make it happen. She and Dimitri both deserved it, and after everything the two of them had done for Harry and Ruth, he felt it was completely justified.

His last ever visit to the grid had been an emotional one, he had tentatively shaken hands with Dimitri and Callum, before they had both pulled him in for a friendly hug, much like Erin had done. The whole group had been on the verge of tears, and Harry had promised them he would see them again, knowing Ruth would want a proper goodbye. He hadn't told them that the next time they saw him would hopefully be his and Ruth's engagement party but he knew Erin had seen the ring box when she walked into his office at the exact moment he was cleaning out his desk. The twinkle in her eye as she started talking told him everything he needed to know. If he had any doubts, they were erased as she whispered in his ear when she had hugged him.

'Don't worry Harry, she'll say yes.'

He had left the grid feeling happier than he had in years, on his way to a new life with the woman he loved.

* * *

><p>Ruth had been steadily getting better since coming home from hospital. There had been no ill effects from her collapsed lung and the wound in her stomach had almost healed, although it had left an angry red scar. Harry made sure to kiss it gently at every opportunity he got, to make sure Ruth knew he still thought she was beautiful regardless. She was moving around the house easily now, getting stronger every day. She had ventured out the house a couple of times with Harry to walk Scarlet, but she hadn't gone far before becoming tired, so they were taking it easy, a little further each time. Harry was pleased with her progress, as was Ruth, but there was one area of her recovery that she was frustrated with.<p>

They hadn't made love since she had been back at home, and to say Ruth was frustrated was an understatement. Harry would kiss her like his life depended on it, but he wouldn't touch her intimately at all. It was as if he thought she would break if he touched her too much. Ruth could understand his weariness, but even when she tried to initiate things he still held back. She decided that tonight she wasn't going to take no for an answer. Tonight was the night she seduced Sir Harry Pearce.

* * *

><p>A phone call was all it took to put the first part of her plan into action. As she was still housebound save for a few short dog walks, she enlisted the help of her old college friend, Sarah, with what she would need from the shop. Harry was still at the grid saying his final goodbyes and she knew he would be a while yet, so she invited Sarah round for a cup of tea and explained what she needed her to do. She had been embarrassed to start with, asking for what she needed, but Sarah put her at ease, telling her she thought her plan was brilliant and to leave it with her. Less than an hour later she had reappeared on Ruth's doorstep, carrier bag in hand, with a promise to meet for a proper catch up once she was fully recovered.<p>

Now that the most difficult part of her plan was accomplished, Ruth set about disturbing the cupboards in the kitchen, deciding upon what she would cook for dinner. She heard the door open and close and Harry's unmistakable footfall in the hall as he removed his jacket and gloves. Not wanting him to ruin the surprise she moved as quickly as her recovering body would allow, reaching the door to the hallway at just the same time as Harry.

'Harry, what a surprise! I didn't expect you back so soon.'

'I missed you.' He said simply, before leaning forward and placing a kiss on her lips.

He moved to go past her but she brought her arm up in front of him, blocking his way into the kitchen.

'Listen, ummm, I'm er...in the middle of something here. Why don't you pop to the pub or something for a while and be back, say, 7ish?'

Harry's interest was piqued. Ruth was acting very oddly and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

'Ruth, what's going on here, is there something wrong?'

'Wrong? No Harry, nothing's _wrong_. Nothing at all. You're just not needed right this very minute. Go on, off with you.'

With that, Ruth turned Harry around, shoving his jacket, keys and gloves into his hands and practically pushing him out the door.

'Goodbye Harry, see you at seven.'

Completely flustered, Harry couldn't even get a word in before the door was shut in his face. At a loss for words, he turned round and began to walk down his driveway. _Well, the pub it is then _he thought to himself, wondering what on earth had gotten into Ruth in the few hours he had been gone.

* * *

><p>It was 5 to 7 and Ruth was putting the finishing touches to the dinner, preparing to serve it when she heard Harry return. Again she met him at the kitchen door, instructing him to go upstairs and change before coming back down. So as to put him off the scent, she had put on her thick fluffy robe over what she was really wearing, discarding it in the living room quickly while he was upstairs changing.<p>

When Harry entered the kitchen he was rendered completely speechless. Ruth was stood by the kitchen table, wearing a dress that left little to the imagination. It was a deep red in colour, the front cut low to show off her cleavage. The dress reached all the way down to the floor, not allowing Harry any more glimpses of skin, but he wasn't too disappointed as he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from her chest.

His mouth suddenly became very dry, and he gulped down the glass of wine that Ruth passed him in one go, causing her to chuckle lightly.

'Steady on Harry, I don't want you drunk for what I've got planned for later. Oh, and my eyes are up here.' With a wink she turned her back to him, moving the plates of food from the kitchen counter onto the table.

They ate slowly, enjoying the tastes of the food and each other's company. Harry told Ruth about his visit to the grid, and Ruth recounted an edited version of her day. As far as Harry was concerned, she had rested and caught up on her reading whilst he had been gone. When they finished eating, they moved into the living room, sitting closely on the sofa sipping their remaining wine. Not that Harry was complaining about how the evening was going, but he was curious as to what had prompted Ruth to organise it all.

'Ruth, either you've done something that might upset me or you're after something from me. Why is it you're spoiling me so?'

'Harry, can't I just treat the man I love?' Her response didn't fool him one bit, and he leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

'Come now Ruth, I may be retired but I'm no fool. What's the occasion?'

Ruth didn't answer in words, instead she pulled Harry towards her and kissed him deeply. They didn't part for a long while, and when they did, Ruth had loosened the top buttons of Harry's shirt without him even noticing. Having run her fingers through his hair whilst she was kissing him, his appearance had taken on a dishevelled look. It was how she found him most sexy and she wasted no time in pulling him in for another kiss.

Ruth leaned back against the arm of the sofa, pulling Harry on top of her. He was careful to avoid her stomach, not wanting to hurt her but not wanting to break off the kiss just yet either. He thought he had figured out why she had gone to all the trouble she had tonight now. Harry had also noticed the lack of lovemaking in their relationship and he was just as frustrated. He was so scared he might hurt Ruth, that he had held back ever since she had returned home, not sure how long it would be before she would feel comfortable engaging in such activities. She had barely stopped short of pleading with him on a couple of occasions, and it had taken all of his willpower to refrain, but refrain he had, the worry still niggling away at him that he might hurt her. But as he laid on top of her right now, her hands running over his back, he knew she wanted it as much as him, and he put all thoughts of hurting her out of his head.

'Ruth, what do you say we go upstairs?' He was breathless and his words came out a whisper.

'Harry, I thought you'd never ask.'

Ruth kissed him once more before he helped her to her feet and led her upstairs to their bedroom.

* * *

><p>Harry laid Ruth down gently on the bed, his hands beginning to roam before her head had even hit the pillow. He found the zipper for her dress at the side and slowly pulled it down, revealing more silky smooth skin to him. He kissed every new centimetre of skin as it was revealed, pulling the dress completely off Ruth once he had undone the zipper. His mind didn't register at first what his actions had revealed, as he was too busy concentrating on where he was throwing the dress, not wanting to knock any ornaments off any shelves. When he turned back to Ruth he thought he might just die of heart failure there and then.<p>

Ruth was wearing matching underwear, a set he hadn't seen before. Where she had got it from without leaving the house he didn't know, but he made a mental note to find out at a later date. Both parts of the set were black, with lace trim around the edges. The bra plunged low, like the dress had, giving Harry another ample view of Ruth's cleavage. However it was the lower half of Ruth's new underwear that had done him in. The French knickers were of an identical design to the bra, black with a lace trim. However attached to the bottom of them were a set of matching suspenders, holding up Ruth's black stockings. He had assumed she had simply been wearing tights underneath the dress when he had noticed her covered feet while they ate, but this was a different proposition entirely. Words failed him and he became aware that he was shamelessly staring.

Ruth began to feel a little uncomfortable. She had been pleased with Harry's reaction to start with and thought she would definitely have to buy Sarah a little gift as a thank you at some point. But as the moment wore on and he still said nothing she started to worry that his gaze was fixed on her scar rather than her new underwear. She had agonized for ages over whether to ask Sarah for something that covered her stomach, before deciding she wouldn't have been able to wear the dress over something like that. Coming to the conclusion that Harry loved her, and thinking of how he had taken to kissing her scar tenderly every night before they went to sleep, she had decided that if it didn't bother him, then she wouldn't let it bother her. Bringing herself back into the moment, she realised how wrong she must have been and moved her hands over her scar, preparing to sit up and redress.

'No, don't. You're beautiful.'

Harry had immediately snapped out of his reverie at her movement and he realised what his silence must have looked like to her. Slowly he reached down and repeated the actions he had every night for the last week or so, tracing the line of Ruth's scar with tiny kisses. He felt her relax under him and he moved his body upwards, kissing her for all he was worth.

'Ruth, remind me to write a thank you card to whoever designed your current attire.'

Her reply was lost on him as he caught her lips in another searing kiss, letting his hands wander all over her body, her moans the only sound in the room.

**A/N: Needless to say, there will be an M rated addition for the end of this chapter that will be put up as soon as I've written it. That's if you want it of course!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I'm going to apologise in advance for this one. Please don't hate me!**

The past week had flown by for Ruth. It was now nearly 2 months since she had returned home from hospital, and thanks to her seduction of Harry a few weeks ago, they were almost living a normal life. Ruth seemed to be feeling no ill effects from the stabbing now. She still got out of breath easily if she tried to over exert herself, but day to day tasks were of no consequence to her and she was in no pain. The scar on her stomach was slowly fading from an angry red to a more pink colour and she was finally beginning to believe that her and Harry could retire to domestic bliss with no further troubles. Since neither of them had jobs to go to anymore, they lounged in bed until late morning every day, taking the time to explore each other's bodies as much as they liked. Harry could scarcely believe he got to wake up next to Ruth every morning and he almost had to pinch himself to make sure it was true.

Today was an important day for them both. It was the day that they would see their ex colleagues from the grid for the first time since Ruth had been out of hospital. Harry had been hoping they would have been meeting up for his and Ruth's engagement party, but he had yet to pluck up the courage to ask her, so an evening meal followed by drinks at The George would have to do. Ruth was excited to see her former co-workers again, but was disappointed that she had been feeling under the weather recently. She hadn't mentioned it to Harry, knowing he would over react and insist she visit the hospital, but she knew it was just a mild stomach bug that would settle down. It was just annoying to her that it hadn't cleared up in time for their meal tonight; she had been having trouble keeping food down all week.

She reasoned that it was due to her annoyance with her unfortunate illness that she had snapped at Harry for the first time in their relationship that afternoon. He had done nothing wrong. He knew it, and she knew it. But him placing her cup of tea on the coffee table without a mat just seemed to irk her in that moment and before she realised what she was doing the words were out of her mouth.

'Oh for God's sake Harry couldn't you get a mat too? It's going to stain the wood now.'

Harry had looked at her in shock, before moving off silently to retrieve a mat for the mug. He hadn't even made it as far as the door before she called after him.

'Well don't bother now, what's done is done.'

She saw him pause in the doorway, as if trying to decide whether to turn and say something to her, before he moved off quietly and went upstairs. Ruth immediately felt incredibly guilty. She didn't know why she had shouted at him for something so irrelevant, but she blamed it on the fact she was irritated at being ill and having to hide it from Harry at the same time. She quickly followed him upstairs to apologise.

'Harry, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. I've...I've been feeling a little off recently and I suppose it's affected my judgement. Forgive me?'

She edged towards where Harry sat on the bed slowly, unsure if he would accept her apology. He seemed to think about it for a moment before smiling at her.

'Don't think upon it Ruth. It's forgotten.'

Ruth smiled back before straddling Harry and kissing him.

'Perhaps I should apologise some more just in case?' And they both fell backwards onto the bed.

* * *

><p>Later that evening, they arrived at the restaurant Erin had chosen to be greeted by a chorus of hello's and how have you been's. Ruth was hugged vigorously by Erin, Callum and Dimitri, all three delighted to see her looking so well. They sat down to order and a rumbling noise at their table caused all eyes to be on Ruth in a second. She blushed slightly, looking down at the table before replying.<p>

'Erm, yes, sorry. I've not eaten much this week. Shall we order?''

Harry was simply amazed by the amount of food Ruth ordered. She finished every last bit off in record time, the first at the table to finish. The rest of the group stared at her in astonishment, wondering where she had put it all. Ruth simply smiled back before asking if they were all ready to move on to The George.

* * *

><p>Once safely seated at The George, Dimitri offered to buy the first round of drinks. Everybody's order in hand, he made his way to the crowded bar, with Erin in tow to help carry the beverages back. It wasn't lost on neither Harry nor Ruth that the two spooks hadn't left each other's sides all night. They shared a small knowing smile with each other before Ruth excused herself to the toilet, brushing Harry's shoulder lovingly with her fingertips as she passed him.<p>

Callum wasted no time at all in beginning his grilling of Harry, and he didn't know where to look as the young techie kept firing questions at him.

'So, what's it like, being retired? Is Ruth OK now? Is she bored of you yet? When are you going to propose? Will we hear the pitter patter of tiny feet any time soon? I call godfather!'

Harry was flabbergasted at the amount of questions currently being thrown at him, and he focussed on the two latter ones, since they were the most important in his eyes. Not wanting to give away his intentions too much in case Callum repeated his words to Ruth later on in the night once intoxicated, he played it rather cool.

'Come now Callum, you know me. I'm not going to jump into anything too quickly. Look how my last marriage turned out. And children? Well, not likely at this stage I'm afraid.'

The truth was, he couldn't wait to marry Ruth and have children, if that was what she wanted, but he knew by the look on Callum's face that he had just made a monumental error in judgement. _Please don't let her be stood behind me. Please._ His inner prayers were not answered as he turned in his chair to find Ruth stood directly behind him, having heard every word he had just spoken.

* * *

><p>To say Ruth was devastated would be an understatement. She had heard the end of Callum's questioning as she returned from the toilet, and slowed her pace back to the table so she could hear Harry's reply, curiosity getting the better of her. She almost wished she hadn't when she heard his answer to the questions. For a second she couldn't move, the sounds from the busy pub faded out and all she could hear were Harry's words ringing in her ears. <em>He doesn't want to marry me. He doesn't want children. He doesn't want me. <em>Forcing back the tears that were threatening to fall, she sat back down at the table as if nothing had happened, determined not to make a scene in such a crowded public place.

'Ruth listen, about what I said...'

Ruth completely ignored Harry and his sentence died out as she began asking Callum how much of what had happened on the grid since she had left could he tell her. Harry stayed silent during the conversation, Erin and Dimitri exchanging confused looks as they returned to the table at what had gotten Harry so quiet. The rest of the evening passed slowly, and Ruth had used every excuse in the book not to be on her own with him so he could explain. He knew he was going to be in a lot of trouble when they got home.

* * *

><p>The taxi journey home had been the most painful 30 minutes of Harry's life. Ruth had kept her gaze fixed out the window the whole time, making it clear to Harry that no conversation whatsoever was welcome. He paid the driver before letting them into their home. The door was not even closed and Ruth was already making her way up the stairs to bed.<p>

'Ruth, please let me explain. It's not what you think.'

His plea fell on deaf ears as he heard the bedroom door slam. His hopes were raised briefly for a second when the door reopened again, but they were dashed completely by what Ruth had to say.

'I don't want you in here tonight Harry. Goodnight.'

Dejected and upset, Harry laid down on the sofa, but not before grabbing his spare bottle of whisky from the cabinet. He would never sleep tonight unless he had a bit of help and he poured himself a generous measure as he tried to figure out how it had all gone so wrong.

* * *

><p>The next morning Ruth felt just as ill as she had been the rest of the week. After trying and failing to keep down some toast, she made her way into the living room, spying Harry passed out on the sofa. Her heart fell when she saw the empty whisky bottle. She had missed him in their bed the previous night, despite how mad at him she had been, and it hurt her to see he had turned to alcohol to numb his obvious pain. Upon closer inspection of his face, she could see dried tears on his face and her guilt intensified further before she remembered why she had been so mad at him. She decided she needed some space of her own for a while and made her way upstairs to pack an overnight bag.<p>

Harry awoke to a muffled shout from upstairs. It took a moment for his head to clear from all the alcohol he had consumed before he remembered what had happened at The George and why he was on the sofa. He resolved to make it up to Ruth today, no matter what, and upon hearing another muffled shout from the bedroom he made his way upstairs to see what the commotion was about.

Harry edged into the bedroom carefully, not knowing what kind of reception he would receive.

'Ruth? Is erm...is everything OK?'

It took a minute for him to realise where she even was until he noticed both doors of his wardrobe were wide open, and she was stood on a stool between them, trying to reach something on the top shelf. His heart sank when he thought about the only item that was on top of his wardrobe and he moved quickly over to her.

'Ruth please, don't leave. Look, I was an arse, a complete and utter arse. But at least let me make it up to you. Let me explain.'

His voice had taken on a desperate tone as he knew that if she left, it was unlikely she would be coming back again. He watched as she turned on top of the stool to face him, her face showing she was still angry at him.

'There's no explaining to do Harry. You don't want me, you don't want to marry me and you don't want to have children with me. So I'll leave you in peace.'

Harry cursed himself for not being able to articulate properly why he had said the things he had the previous night. He cursed himself for saying those things in the first place. Why couldn't he have just avoided the question? _Stupid, stupid man. Now you're going to lose her and it's all your fault. _Ruth had turned away from him again, still not quite able to reach her bag on the top of the wardrobe. Finally, she managed to snag it, and with a triumphant shout, she hauled it down onto the bed and began to throw some of her things into it.

'No Ruth please, you don't understand. I...I didn't mean what I said. You're just being emotional'

The second the words were out his mouth he wished he could take them back. Ruth had frozen, her hands just above the bag on the bed. Slowly, she moved her eyes up to meet Harry's, and he almost visibly shrank back at the anger he could see in them.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean that either.' He whispered quickly, before she could begin shouting at him.

'I think we all know by now, Harry Pearce never says anything he doesn't mean. Isn't that right Harry?'

Harry could only respond again with a whispered no as he watched her zip up the bag and move past him. She stopped at the doorway, turning briefly to face him. Tears were shining in her eyes as she spoke.

'Don't try to find out where I've gone.'

And with that, she disappeared from view. Harry waited until he heard the door slam before collapsing onto the floor, sobbing for all he was worth.

**A/N: I didn't intend for this chapter to take this route, it just sort of happened. Promise to stick with me and I'll make it all better in the end! The more astute among you might already be able to tell where this is going...**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I just couldn't go to bed without putting this right first! So here comes the next chapter. Well done to nimax1, HR always live on and threesummerdays for guessing the correct reason behind Ruth's odd behaviour ;) Hope this makes up for the sadness in the last chapter!**

Two days. Two days since she had walked out of his life. He hadn't left the house in that time. He had barely eaten and he was still wearing the same clothes he had been wearing on the day she left. It was safe to say Harry was a mess. All he had done in the last 48 hours was stare off into space and drink. He had gone over every moment of their lives together, good and bad, before finally settling on the argument, trying to make sense of it. He knew he had been in the wrong, that what he had said had hurt her deeply, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it had been out of character for Ruth the way she had acted. He thought he knew her well enough to know that when something upset her she withdrew into herself and became quiet, she didn't shout and run away. Harry decided that today, enough was enough. He was going to find out where Ruth had gone and he was going to get her back.

* * *

><p>Ruth looked at the offending item in shock, willing it to go away. She was frozen in her position, sitting on the side of the bath, when there was a knock on the door.<p>

'Ruth, come on! Don't keep a girl in suspense! What does it say?'

Sarah was leaning on the doorframe impatiently waiting for Ruth to come out but she ignored her and carried on staring at the object in her hands. The turn of events had come around so quickly. After storming out of the house, she had gone to Sarah, knowing Harry had never met her and wouldn't know where she lived. _Of course, if he really wanted to find me, he would. _She thought to herself, part of her hoping he would. She had told Sarah what had happened, the story taking longer than it should have due to Ruth's inability to form a coherent sentence through her tears. Sarah had been a gem, passing tissues, nodding at the appropriate times and consoling Ruth before getting her a very large tub of ice cream.

Ruth found herself in her current predicament when Sarah had asked her that morning if she wanted anything for breakfast and she had replied without thinking, that she wanted banana and ketchup on toast. An offhand comment from Sarah that she could be pregnant with those sorts of cravings had stopped Ruth dead. She began to look at the last couple of weeks in a new light. Her illness, her wild emotions that even she admitted to Sarah had not been like her, and her blowing up at Harry and running away instead of staying and talking it through. Her heart beat wildly as Sarah had driven her to the chemist to buy a pregnancy test. And that was why she found herself currently sat in Sarah's bathroom staring at a positive test. _I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. It's Harry's, and he doesn't want a child, but I'm pregnant. _Ruth began to cry.

* * *

><p>Sarah had persuaded Ruth that in order to celebrate, they had to have more chocolate ice cream, and Ruth had volunteered to go and fetch it from the shop, needing a bit of time on her own to think. On her voyage to the shops, she concluded that there was no way she could get rid of the baby, she would keep it no matter what happened between her and Harry. <em>Harry.<em> She stopped dead in the middle of the street at the thought of him. She missed him terribly, and was beginning to feel guilty for the way she had run out on him. She knew what he had said was inexcusable but she realised she had barely given him time to explain before flying out the door. Tonight she would celebrate her pregnancy with her friend, then tomorrow she would find Harry and try to make things right. Her heart ached without him and she hoped he had a bloody good reason for what he had said, otherwise she would have to prepare for life on her own once again.

* * *

><p>Ruth knew something was the matter as soon as she came through the front door. Sarah was lingering in the hall waiting for her, something which was quite unnecessary considering she had only been gone 10 minutes. It turned out, in those 10 minutes she had been gone, something quite remarkable had happened. Sarah could hardly contain her glee before explaining her current state of excitement to Ruth.<p>

'Ruth, go in the living room. Now.'

Giving her a curious look, Ruth moved into the living room and gasped at the sight that greeted her. Everywhere she looked, every nook, cranny and shelf, were filled with bouquets of flowers. She turned to Sarah, who had a grin on her face and was holding out a small envelope to her.

'This came with them.' She explained, shoving into Ruth's hand as she seemed reluctant to take it.

Ruth opened the small envelope and began to read the small card inside.

_My darling Ruth,_

_You must know that I am so deeply sorry._

_I love you with all my heart, I never meant to hurt you._

_I said those things so that Callum would not tell you of my true intentions._

_If you still love me, be at the house tonight at 7pm._

_All my love,_

_Harry_

Ruth burst into tears, caressing Harry's careful handwriting on the card. She could tell Sarah was torn between comforting her and asking her what the card had said, so she offered up an explanation.

'He wants me to meet him tonight. Do you think I should go?'

Sarah sighed dramatically, as if Ruth had just asked the easiest question in the world.

'Ruth, you've loved this man for nearly nine years. Don't let him go because he was an arse for one night. Talk to him. See what he has to say.'

Ruth nodded, wiping away her tears. She knew Sarah was right. Tonight, she would go and see Harry.

* * *

><p>Ruth arrived bang on 7pm and used her own key to let herself in. She felt slightly guilty not giving Harry any warning she had arrived, but she did still technically live there after all. She found him sat on the sofa staring at the clock. Ruth had a feeling he had been sat like that for a while.<p>

'Harry.'

He started and looked at her with such sorrow and regret in his eyes that she very nearly took him into her arms right there and then. He stood to greet her.

'Ruth. Did you get the flowers? And the card? Silly me, of course you did. Or you wouldn't be here. I should probably explain...'

Ruth couldn't resist anymore and placed her finger on Harry's lips, stopping him mid sentence.

'I know Harry. I know. You said those things to Callum so he wouldn't tell me what you had said once he was drunk. The stupidest idea I've ever heard, but then you have been known to have them.'

She smiled softly at him, enjoying her proximity to him again, before continuing.

'The thing is Harry, even though I know you didn't mean it, I still don't know your intentions. I mean, we said before my accident we would move away from this life. We've given up our jobs but we haven't done anything towards buying that house. I'm...I'm afraid you don't want that anymore and I suppose when I heard you say those things I did get a bit...emotional...and believe they were your true feelings.'

'Ruth, I have something that will show you my true feelings, do you trust me?'

Ruth's heart began to pound. She was sure he was about to propose to her as he reached down underneath the coffee table to pull something out. Her disappointment when he pulled out a blindfold turned to confusion when he motioned to her that she should put it on.

'I don't understand Harry, what are you...?'

'Ruth, do you trust me? If you trust me, put the blindfold on. I'm not going to hurt you.'

She looked into his eyes for a second before putting the blindfold on. Harry secured it gently before leading her out to the car. He helped her into it, ignoring her questions about where they were going. They drove in silence until they reached their destination. Ruth had no idea where they were and was only slightly worried. She didn't think Harry would lead her into an ambush or off a cliff, but she still didn't like not knowing where she was.

Harry took Ruth by the elbow and helped her out of the car, slowly removing her blindfold. She blinked a few times to adjust her eyes to the darkness and realised where they were. The cottage. The place they had come to for their first weekend away together. The place they had said they would retire to and grow old together, have a life and a home. Her confusion started to fade as she noticed the 'for sale' sign had a large 'SOLD' sticker over the top of it.

'Harry, you didn't...'

Harry had moved silently behind Ruth, circling her waist with his arms. He deemed it was now safe to touch her, as she seemed to have mostly forgiven him for his misdemeanour. He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before continuing to speak.

'There's one more surprise too, let's go inside.'

He took Ruth inside and she was shocked at what she found. Silent tears made their way down her face as she looked into each room. Harry had moved furniture in, just the basics, but it gave the house a lived in feeling rather than the emptiness it had emanated before. She moved through the kitchen, following Harry as he beckoned her towards the smaller room she had previously mentioned could have been his office. He let her walk in first, smiling at the sob that escaped her lips as she looked around the room.

The room was not decorated as an office, it was decorated as a nursery. The colours were pale and simple, allowing for a girl or a boy. There was a cot in one corner of the room, a colourful mobile above it. Stuffed animals and baby toys adorned every surface, and the walls were covered in cartoon characters and teddy bears. She couldn't believe he had gone to all this trouble. Her tears were flowing freely now, and she decided she needed to tell him right that second that she was pregnant. Before she could say anything he beat her to it.

'Ruth turn around. I lied. There were two more surprises.'

She turned round to face him and nearly collapsed to the floor as her knees went so weak. Harry was crouched on one knee, the most beautiful ring she had ever seen in his hands. It was understated, a cluster of small diamonds with sapphire around the edges, and she loved it. She looked into Harry's eyes, noting he was also crying at this point.

'Ruth, I thought I had lost you these last couple of days because of my utter stupidity and it made me realise. I don't want to beat about the bush anymore, telling lies to put other people off the scent. I want the whole world to know that you're mine and that I love you. Because I do Ruth, I've loved you since the moment I met you and I can't imagine my life without you. I want to grow old with you, and...have children with you. You're my heart Ruth Evershed, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?'

He stayed still, not daring to believe that she would say yes, despite the wide smile on her face and the tears running down her cheeks. She leapt at him smothering him with kisses and saying yes over and over again. They fell back onto the floor and carried on kissing. Harry caressed Ruth's cheeks with his hands, wiping her tears away, all the while telling her he loved her and he was sorry. He didn't want to stop kissing her but she pulled back eventually and looked him in the eye, suddenly rather nervous.

'Harry, I've got a surprise of my own. Something I need to tell you.'

She was fidgeting by this point, and she got up off the floor and began to pace. Harry began to slightly worry, not knowing what on earth she needed to say, it clearly being something important by the way she had become so nervous. He strode over to her and stopped her pacing by placing a kiss firmly on her lips.

'Whatever it is Ruth, tell me. I promise it'll be OK.'

She looked at him for a second before taking a deep breath.

'OK. OK. Yes. Right.'

Ruth took another deep breath before continuing.

'I'm pregnant Harry.'


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews from the last two chapters, it really does mean a lot to me that you enjoy my writing. This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but the wedding will be coming up next, so I hope that'll make up for it!**

'I'm pregnant Harry.'

Ruth looked Harry in the eye, silently praying he would react in a positive manner. Were it not for the importance of the moment she could have laughed at the look on his face. It was a mixture of astonishment, confusion and happiness. Harry opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, as if he was trying to say something, before shaking his head slightly and pulling Ruth into the most passionate kiss she had ever received. Eventually Harry pulled away and finally spoke.

'Ruth, that is just...just..._wonderful._ This is the happiest day of my life.'

The tears had started to fall again for them both, and they made their way to the bedroom having decided they would stay there for the night rather than drive back at such a late hour. After undressing each other slowly, Harry pulled Ruth tightly into his arms, kissing the top of her head.

'How far along are you?' Harry whispered, intrigued.

'Mmmmm, a few weeks. After the accident at any rate.' Ruth snuggled closer into Harry, tracing circles on his chest with her fingers.

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment before realising something.

'Ruth. The night you er...you _seduced_ me, we didn't um...use anything did we?'

Ruth looked at Harry, thinking back to the night in question for herself, before realising he was right. She blushed at the memory. She had been in such a hurry to get Harry into bed that night that neither of them had bothered to stop and think about protection.

'Well, at least we know the due date now. In just over seven months we are going to have a baby Harry.'

Harry's smile could not have gotten any wider if he tried, and he pulled Ruth into another kiss, his hands roaming over her soft flesh. Ruth could feel the effect she was having on him, his arousal pressing against her stomach. Forcefully she rolled him onto his back and Harry allowed Ruth to take control of the situation. They made love all night long, happy to be in each other's arms again and excited for what the future was going to bring.

* * *

><p>The next morning Ruth woke up to the sound of Harry snoring softly. She smirked to herself, knowing he persistently denied that he snored, and made a note to herself to one day record him so that he could hear it for himself. She watched him for a long while, memorising every tiny aspect of his face. Her stomach did a little flip when she remembered his proposal from the night before and she let her thoughts run away with ideas of how they could be married and where. <em>Ruth Pearce. It's got a nice ring to it.<em> Her thoughts were brought back to the present when Harry shifted in his sleep. He put an arm protectively round her, pulling her close to him. Ruth kissed him gently on the nose, wanting him to wake up so that she could have a proper kiss. Her movement had the desired effect, Harry's eyes fluttering open at the contact, and he immediately pulled Ruth in for a kiss. His hand travelled down to her stomach, caressing it softly.

'Our baby's in there Ruth. I can't tell you how much that means to me.'

Ruth was delighted that he had taken the news so well, and was eager to get on with planning their future now that they had put their argument behind them.

'Harry...I want to move in here as soon as possible, if that's OK with you?'

Harry simply nodded and kissed Ruth again to show his agreement, before rising from the bed and padding towards the bathroom naked. He turned back to Ruth, his hand on the bathroom door.

'You coming?'

She eagerly followed, and they stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out.

* * *

><p>Erin was at the wrong end of an incredibly bad day, and she was currently sat in Harry's office trying to get the pounding in her head to go away. She still didn't think of it as her office, even though she knew Harry was never going to be coming back. It would always be Harry's office to her and the others on the grid, a fitting tribute to the man who had held MI5 together almost on his own for years.<p>

She looked up as Dimitri and Callum entered, excited looks on their faces.

'By the looks on your faces, this had better be good news. I'm about ready to give the next terrorist who wants to attack us the freedom of the land if it means I'll get some sleep.'

Neither man spoke, Dimitri instead handing Erin a small white card with beautiful gold writing on the front. She turned it round the right way and began to read what it said.

_You are hereby invited to the wedding of_

_Sir Harry Pearce_

_And_

_Miss Ruth Evershed_

_On_

_25__th__ December 2011_

_Somewhere on the south east coast_

_(Directions to follow)_

Erin laughed at the vagueness of the location. _You can take a spook out of MI5..._ she thought. Looking up at Dimitri and Callum, she noticed they were holding identical invitations in their hands too, and she jumped up from her chair to embrace them both in a hug. Her day hadn't turned out so bad after all.

* * *

><p>Ruth was currently sat in the middle of their living room, trying to fit one last bubble wrapped ornament into the box before her without squashing the rest already safely packed inside. Harry stood in the doorway watching her, thinking to himself that she had never looked more beautiful than she had right at that moment. She was wearing a pair of old jeans and a faded t-shirt, and her hair was loosely tied up in a bun. Her hands were smudged with newspaper print from when she had been wrapping things before Harry had volunteered to go and buy bubble wrap. He moved behind her quietly and sat down, kissing her cheek as he did so.<p>

'Do you think we made a mistake setting the date for Christmas day? What if the others already have plans?'

Harry sounded worried and Ruth thought it incredibly sweet of him, even though his concerns were unfounded. They had extended Erin's invitation to her mother and Rosie, and she knew Callum and Dimitri didn't really have any family to speak of, so she was quietly confident that the three of them would be present at their wedding.

'Harry, it'll be fine. They'll be there, don't worry. Anyway, if we leave it any later I'll be the size of a house and I don't want to have to waddle down the aisle in maternity clothes thank you very much. Besides, I think the idea of getting married on Christmas Day has to be your most romantic notion yet Mr Pearce.' Ruth playfully slapped Harry's arm and he grabbed her, pulling her back with him so they were laid out on the floor.

'It's Sir Harry to you madam.'

Ruth's response died in her mouth as Harry captured her lips with his own, and all thoughts of bubble wrap, packing and moving house were forgotten for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p>The lone occupant of the house moved to the door when the envelope dropped through the post box. It was somewhat of a surprise to be receiving personal post. Usually it was just bills and junk mail. Opening it carefully, the invitation was read with thorough satisfaction before being placed on the desk in the hallway. Upon closer inspection, it was noticed that there were 5 words handwritten on the back of the card, not in the same style as the gold writing on the front. Curious, the figure picked the card back up again, smiling at the words written in a familiar handwriting.<p>

'Not a word to Ruth.'

Moving back to the living room to resume reading the book carefully placed on the arm of the chair, a smile formed on their face for the first time in many months. _It's about time those two sorted themselves out._

**A/N: Dum dum dummmmm! Who will the mystery guest at the wedding be?**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: So here's the wedding! I took my inspiration for this chapter from Phoebe and Mike's wedding in Friends, as I think it was really beautiful. I'm thinking there will only be 1 maybe 2 more chapters left after this, and maybe an epilogue. I don't intend to write about their honeymoon, as I don't think I could really do it justice and besides, threesummerdays is already doing a fine job of writing about their Grand Tour :) I'll start working on a Christmas fic after this story is over I think! Hope you enjoy this.**

Harry awoke on Christmas morning full of nerves for the day ahead. He took a moment to take in Ruth's peaceful sleeping face before leaning forward and kissing her gently to wake her. They had decided not to spend the previous night apart, as neither had ever been big on tradition anyway and they had wanted to exchange gifts before the wedding.

Ruth stirred at Harry's kisses, a smile appearing on her face as she kissed him back.

'Good morning Mrs Pearce, Merry Christmas.' Harry whispered.

'Not yet Harry, I'm still Miss Evershed for a few more hours. And Merry Christmas to you too.'

They lounged in bed for a while longer, until Harry reluctantly rose to retrieve the elegantly wrapped gifts under the tree in the living room. Passing his gift to Ruth, he looked suspiciously at the present she had taken so long choosing for him when they had ventured into London last week to shop. He had no idea whatsoever what it was, despite his best attempts at digging the information out of Ruth. Clearly his spook skills were fading in retirement. He motioned for Ruth to open her gift first, and watched her face closely to see her reaction as she tore off the colourful paper.

'Oh Harry, it's beautiful! Thank you so much. I love it.'

'Really? You can take it back if you like.'

Ruth's beaming face told him that wouldn't be necessary and he motioned for her to turn around so he could fasten the jewellery around her neck. It matched her engagement ring, with a cluster of diamonds the main focus, sapphire around the edges. Ruth turned round once it was fastened and kissed Harry soundly before motioning him to open his gift.

He opened it carefully, trying not to tear the paper, enjoying watching Ruth get more and more fidgety at the length of time he was taking to open his present. Eventually, he had the gift out of its paper and he turned it over in his hands, confusion etched on his face.

'A new pair of shoes Ruth. That's...lovely.'

Ruth laughed at Harry's inability to hide his disappointment at her so called gift, before motioning for him to open the lid. When he did, his eyes widened at the contents of the box. Instead of the expected pair of shoes, there were two train tickets to Paris, as well as a guide book for Europe. In his shock he hadn't noticed Ruth move behind him and he jumped when she wrapped her arms around his neck, whispering in his ear.

'I thought, with a baby on the way, our honeymoon might be the perfect time to do the Grand Tour, before it's too late. What do you think?'

Harry, tears in his eyes, turned round in Ruth's arms to kiss her passionately before he replied.

'I think its perfect Ruth. I love you so much.'

They got lost in each other's embrace for some time before they heard the doorbell go.

'That'll be Sarah to help me get ready Harry. That's your cue to retire to the living room and leave me in peace.'

He kissed her one more time before making his way to the front door and pointing Sarah in the right direction of their bedroom. Besides, he had plans of his own to prepare for, his surprise mystery guest would be arriving any minute now and he couldn't wait to see Ruth's reaction. He busied himself with making breakfast in the kitchen, nerves now fading into excitement for the day ahead.

* * *

><p>Ruth and Sarah had been joined by Erin not long afterwards, who was currently fussing over Ruth's hair, much to her annoyance.<p>

'Erin, it'll get ruined in the snow the second I step outside anyway, it doesn't need to be perfect.'

Erin continued fussing, muttering something about Ruth being crazy wanting to get married outside in the snow. It made her think back to the conversation she had had with Harry about the setting of their wedding, when he had a similar response to her suggestion. She smiled at the memory, deciding that she could put up with a little snow in her hair and numbs hands and arms if it meant she got to get married in the beautiful snow covered garden that she could see Dimitri currently arranging chairs in through her bedroom window.

He had moved the white wooden chairs into a line before the small cluster of trees at the back of their garden, where their wedding would take place. Ruth had decided that since there would only be a few guests, and they had such a beautiful garden, why not have their wedding at home? The minister would be arriving any minute now, and Erin's mother had kindly offered to cook Christmas dinner for everybody afterwards. For Ruth, it was the idea of a perfect wedding, with all of her loved ones around her in a familiar setting. She couldn't wait.

Sarah had finished putting the finishing touches to Ruth's make up, and her and Erin stood back to admire Ruth, various compliments and words of wonder escaping their mouths. Ruth was dressed in a full length simple white dress, with a matching wrap over her shoulders to protect her against the cold. Her necklace that had been Harry's Christmas gift was around her neck and her hair was up in a loose bun, as Harry had always said it made her look even sexier than normal. There was a knock at the door and Callum entered, dressed in suit and bow tie.

'M'lady, it is time.'

He held out his arm for her, whispering into her ear that she looked beautiful as he lead her downstairs. He stopped at the doorway to the living room, motioning for her to go in as the confusion covered her features. She entered the room and it's only other occupant turned to face her, having previously been inspecting the pictures on the mantel piece above the fire.

'MALCOLM!' Ruth practically screamed in his ear as she ran to hug him.

Malcolm hugged her back fiercely, having not seen her since before her accident.

'Ruth. Did you really think I would miss this for the world?'

'Harry, he said that you...that you couldn't...'

She didn't finish her sentence as emotion overcame her, and Malcolm took the opportunity to explain his surprise presence.

'Harry sent me an invitation but asked me to decline the official one, on the grounds that I was busy moving Mum into the home. I think he wanted to surprise you. Anyway, his thinking was that since your parents couldn't be here, maybe I could...give you away?'

Ruth sobbed and pulled Malcom into another hug, quickly wiping her tears away as they appeared so as not to ruin her makeup.

'Malcolm, I would be honoured.'

He smiled and held out his arm for her to take.

'Well, then, I think it's time for you to become Mrs Pearce. Shall we?'

* * *

><p>Malcolm led Ruth through the glass patio doors and out into the garden. Sarah was standing off to one side, playing a beautiful tune on the flute she had secretly brought with her. It was another surprise for Ruth and she wondered if Harry had any more up his sleeve for the rest of the day.<p>

Harry stood beneath the trees with the minister and watched Ruth as Malcolm led her towards him. She completely took his breath away. Her dress seemed to shimmer in the light, and the snowflakes that were falling and settling on her hair made her look like an angel. His smile couldn't have gotten any wider as she reached her place beside him, and he saw that she was sporting an equally large one.

'You liked your surprises?' He asked with a grin.

'Oh Harry, just when I think I can't love you anymore.'

She moved to kiss him but he moved backwards to avoid her lips.

'Aha Ruth, I think you'll find that comes at the end.'

Turning to the minister, he motioned for him to begin.

'Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...'

* * *

><p>'You may now kiss the bride.'<p>

Ruth vaguely heard clapping and whistling as she pulled Harry into a kiss and didn't let him go until the need for oxygen became apparent. They both turned to their friends and showed off their rings, before everybody moved inside into the warmth.

The Christmas dinner was a huge success, Erin's mother having spent all afternoon on it. Once everybody had filled their stomachs, they all squashed into the living room to share brandy and mince pies and recount tales from their past. Ruth couldn't remember a time she had ever been happier. She was now married to the man of her dreams, and all of her friends were here in the same place to celebrate with her. Catching Harry's eye, she smiled at him, knowing he was thinking exactly the same thing.

One by one, the guests left to return home, not wanting to intrude on the couple's wedding night. Ruth hugged each and every one of them, lingering with Malcolm, making him promise to keep in touch. Eventually, it was just the two of them left, and Harry pulled Ruth into a tight embrace, whispering his love for her in her ear. They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the feel of each other. Ruth caught Harry's eye as he pulled back, noticing the familiar twinkle in them and without any words, she took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom.

**A/N: I will do a one shot for the wedding night before I continue with the next chapter, and it'll be M rated of course!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: This will be the last chapter for this story. I'll do a fluffy little epilogue so you know it all ends happily ever after, then I might add a few chapters to Love Will Always Win. A few ideas have come to me for that one today. Sorry to anybody who was hoping I might write about their Grand Tour in this story, I chickened out of that one! Hope you like this...**

_**6 months later...**_

'Harry, I'm the size of a house, I am NOT wearing that!'

Ruth looked at Harry incredulously, as if he had just asked her to dive headfirst into the fires of hell, rather than his actual request that she wear the underwear she had worn on the day of their wedding. Harry thought it a reasonable request. Even though Ruth was due to give birth any day now, he still found her incredibly sexy, and their lovemaking had only intensified as the pregnancy wore on, with Ruth's hormones getting the better of her on many occasions. Not that Harry was complaining. Twirling the bra around his finger, he prepared for a hasty exit from the room, something he knew he would need with what he was about to say.

'A damn fine house though Ruth.'

'HARRY!'

Ruth chose not to even attempt to chase Harry and settled for throwing a pillow after his fast retreating form, it hitting the door and landing on the floor with a quiet whoosh. She could hear him chuckling to himself as he pottered around the kitchen making them both some breakfast. Finishing applying her makeup, Ruth followed him into the kitchen and smacked his arm playfully before sitting at the table and greedily tucking into her scrambled egg on toast.

'You know Harry, one more comment about my size and I'll consider withholding all intimacy after the baby's born.'

Harry dismissed her with a wave of his hand, knowing she would never in a million years hold up that promise. He kissed her on the cheek before sitting down opposite her to start his own meal. His first forkful of egg was half way to his mouth when it happened. Ruth froze and a look of surprise appeared on her face. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she beat him to it.

'W...Waters Harry.'

'What?'

'My waters Harry. They've broken. The baby's coming.'

'Christ.'

Harry leapt from the chair, knocking it backwards in the process and ran to their bedroom. He grabbed the bag Ruth had already packed in preparation for just this moment and ran back to the kitchen, skidding to a halt on the tiled surface. He stood and stared at Ruth, as if expecting her to tell him what to do next. She stared back for a minute, not quite believing that the man who she had once watched stare down politicians on a daily basis had no clue what to do in order to get their baby delivered safely. Taking pity on him, she decided to give him some advice.

'The car Harry. Do you have your keys? I'm going to need to go to hospital now.'

'Right yes. The car. Of course. Come on then.'

She watched him disappear off into the hall, staying where she was to see if he would realise his oversight. Less than a second elapsed before she heard him return to the kitchen and offer his arm to her in support.

'Sorry. I'm a bit flustered Ruth.'

Ruth knew better than to make any sort of comment about the births of his other children, knowing he hadn't been there for them and would feel guilty if she said anything. Instead, she merely smirked at him and took his arm, allowing him to lead her out to the car. He guided her gently into the passenger seat before running round to the driver's door, and they set off for the hospital.

* * *

><p>'Ruth Pearce. She's in labour.'<p>

The nurse at reception nodded to Harry and promptly produced a wheelchair for Ruth to sit in. She was wheeled into a private room down the hall and told to wait for a doctor. Harry was pacing impatiently, nervous and excited all at the same time.

'Harry, do stop it, you're making me dizzy.'

He looked at Ruth and took a seat next to her, taking her left hand in his and stroking her wedding ring with his fingers.

'Ruth, about the name...'

Harry had the good grace to sound sheepish as he brought up a rather sore subject. During their honeymoon they had argued about what they would name their baby. Ruth had wanted to name it either Adam or Joanna, after their fallen colleagues, but Harry had wanted a unique name, not wanting any association with the job that had nearly torn their lives apart. For the whole 2 months they had toured Europe, it had been a thorn in both their sides, neither willing to back down on their opinions. It hadn't ruined the holiday though, in fact quite the opposite. The arguments had invariably turned into some extended make up sex, something which Harry blushed at the memory of. They had acted like love struck teenagers while on honeymoon and it had been the best two months of his life. _Correction_ he thought to himself _these have been the best 6 months of my life, being married to Ruth._ It was in that moment he made a decision. Their child would be loved by them both no matter what their name was, and he knew that in the end he would always back down and let Ruth have her way. He shook himself out of his own thoughts when he noticed Ruth looking at him expectantly.

'You're right Ruth. It should be Adam or Joanna. I don't know what I was thinking. I'd be honoured to name our child after either of them.'

Ruth caressed Harry's cheek with her free hand, leaning forward to kiss him and whisper thank you into his ear. He flinched away from her when she shouted out in pain, the first contraction making its presence known.

Harry moved back as the doctor and nurses entered, letting them do their work. His stomach flipped at the thought that in a matter of hours he would be a father again. Suddenly he realised he needed to make a phone call and he slipped quietly from the room.

* * *

><p>The sounds Ruth was making positively terrified Harry. If he hadn't been in the room with her, he would have been sure she was being murdered. As it was, she was about to deliver their baby, and he played the dutiful father, whispering words of encouragement in her ear and letting her crush the bones in his left hand to dust. The doctor indicated she needed one last big push and with a cry that could probably have been heard from the other side of the hospital, Ruth did just that. Harry became worried when she passed out, but the nurse beside him assured him it was normal. He watched as the baby was cleaned and wrapped up in a blanket. Its screams were joy to his ears, and he couldn't find the strength to say anything as tears of happiness rolled down his cheeks.<p>

'It's a boy. Would you like to hold him?'

Harry nodded mutely, and felt an overwhelming surge of protectiveness as he held the tiny bundle in his arms. Slowly, he moved to the open door and slipped out, knowing there were three people in the waiting room who would want to meet his son. Erin, Dimitri and Callum all stood as one when they noticed Harry moving towards them with the baby in his arms. He held him out for the three of them to see, announcing him to the world for the very first time.

'Everybody, meet Adam Pearce.'


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: OK so...I know I promised a fluffy epilogue but, an idea came to my mind and it just wouldn't let me go. It is a happy ending of sorts, just not fluffy. I feel like I'm taking a BIG risk with this, so I hope you like it! **

_**22 years later...**_

The man walked slowly through the graveyard, meandering through the stones until he reached his destination. He knew the route well by now, having made the same journey every weekend for the last 3 months. Standing before the two intended headstones, he knelt and placed identical bunches of flowers on each one, before reaching his hand up and tracing the letters engraved on them both in turn.

_Ruth Pearce_

_Devoted Wife, Loving Mother_

_26-10-1972 - 23-4-2034_

_Harry Pearce_

_Devoted Husband, Loving Father_

_1-11-1953 – 29-4-2034_

'Hi Mum. Hi Dad.'

Adam's voice cracked as he began to speak, still not used to the fact his parents were no longer with him. Nevertheless, he continued with his weekly ritual, telling them about his week.

'Work was slow this week. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, getting into private security. I know neither of you ever wanted me to get involved in MI5. Especially you, Mum. But it just feels...right somehow. Besides, with Dimitri running things now, I'd have someone looking out for me. He's...not the same without Erin, Dad. Now I can understand why you couldn't go on when Mum...when she...'

Adam had to stop speaking for a moment to compose himself. He still couldn't believe that after everything his parents had been through, they had been taken away from him by something so simple as a pair of heart attacks. Wiping the tears away with his hand, he looked around to make sure nobody else was within earshot before continuing.

'People laugh at me when they tell me you died of a broken heart Dad. But I know that's what it really was. You couldn't go on without Mum. I see that in Dimitri and it worries me. I want to look out for him. Besides, with you two as parents, those terrorists better watch out for me huh?'

He gave a wry laugh, standing up and preparing to leave. He looked thoughtful for a minute before turning back to the headstones to speak again.

'I was lucky enough to have two parents that loved each other for their entire marriage. You always used to love telling me the story of how you got together. How it took nearly ten years for you to get Mum to marry you Dad. I'm glad you both had twenty years of happiness. You were the best parents...the best...'

Adam broke down in tears, covering his hands with his face. He felt comforting hands on his back, gently lifting him into a standing position. The woman began to speak and he forced himself to stop crying so he could concentrate on what she was saying.

'Sweetheart, come back to the car, Dad's waiting. I don't want to leave him on his own for too long. He...he starts to think about Mum.'

'OK darling. Besides, I want to speak to your Dad about work.'

Adam began to walk, taking Rosie's hand in his own and playing with the wedding band on her finger. They had been married two years now, and he knew that if they had even a fraction of the happiness his parents had had, then his life would be one filled with joy.

The End

**A/N: Thank you to everybody who reviewed this story, your thoughts and comments mean a lot to me. I've got an idea for a new story, so keep an eye out for that over the next couple of days. It's different, and I'm not sure people will like it but I'm going to post it anyway. I may also extend Love Will Always Win when I'm in a fluffier mood myself, but real life has dealt me a bad hand this month so I'm putting fluffiness on the backburner for now. Thank you all again, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**


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